Men asked, they answered

Today, lifestyle site AskMen.com revealed the results of The Great Male Survey, which polled more than 50,000 men on their views about relationships, finance, fashion and more.

“The results of the 2009 survey confirmed that men aren't the bumbling sex maniacs that TV shows and commercials make us out to be," said James Bassil, editor-in-chief of AskMen.com. "We're in fact intelligent, romantic, self-aware beings … with enormous libidos.”

Some of the results:

– 84 percent of men look for wife potential in a girlfriend.

– 85 percent of men believe that they should pay for the majority of dates at least until a relationship is established.

– 70 percent of men would not cheat, but only 13 percent are entirely satisfied with their sex lives.

– 84 percent cook at home.

– 50 percent are comfortable with their significant other staying in touch with an ex.

– 69 percent have fantasized about a girlfriend or wife's friend.

– 73 percent of men are comfortable sending birthday wishes via text message, versus a phone call or face-to-face greeting.

– 81 percent of respondents say that the economic crisis has not had a direct negative effect on their career progress; yet it did prompt 69 percent of men to save more money in 2009.

– The best-dressed men are in Italy.

– American men have greater moral qualms about living with a partner before marriage, are more likely to fake an orgasm (!!), and are more concerned about global warming than their male counterparts in Australia, UK and Canada.

In addition, AskMen.com partnered with Yahoo! Shine for The Great Female Survey, which had about 19,000 respondents. Highlights:

– 34 percent of women said their confidence is their main weapon to attract men.

– 17 percent use their looks as their secret weapon.

– 39 percent of women believe Sarah Palin set women back 20 years.

– More than 75 percent believe that women of this era are best identified as “do-it-all multi-taskers” versus the 8 percent who feel that a woman should be identified as a nurturing mother and the 13 percent who think of women as “career women go-getters.”

Comparative results revealed:

– Men are more traditional, women are less traditional.

– 12 percent fewer women than men believe that marriage is a necessary institution that they will participate in to help preserve.

– 48 percent of men said they would dump a girlfriend if she became fat (c'mon, guys!), while 70 percent of women said they would keep a husky boyfriend around.

– 60 percent of men would take the male birth control pill and 68 percent of women would prefer that option too.

Are the results what you expected? I was surprised at how many men thought they should pay for more dates at the beginning of the relationship ... and that so few are satisfied with their sex lives. Also, I say bring on that male birth control pill!

You can view full survey results here and here.

Anti-belly fat marketers: We got the message

Dear Internet advertising designers/developers: Please, no more about belly fat.

I need no more details about how we gain it, how to lose it, or how celebrities from Oprah Winfrey to Rachael Ray have employed new and expensive methods for eradicating it. (And you can, too!)

Give me no more testimonials written by supposed local moms who claim to swear by Product A or Product B. Ditto for made-up blogs accompanied by grainy photos and very old comments expressing support, real or imagined.

But, most emphatically, don't show me any more photos of other people's belly fat when I visit a Web page -- and it happens nearly every time I click. (Try searching "belly fat." I got 2.8 million results. For research purposes, I clicked. Too many links included photos.)

Why in the world would some ad agency employee think that seeing someone squish their belly fat would make me want to click the photo to read more?

Please, stop.

I don't need anymore descriptions to know that it's bad or that, if I have it, I should get rid of it.

I certainly don't need a photo to know what it is.

And, here's a clue: When it comes to losing belly fat, you might inspire me more by what I might achieve -- not by what I might already be.

Should you stay or should you go?

The saddest thing I've heard in the whole Mark Sanford mess?

That he considers his Argentinian mistress his soul mate ... and yet he's trying to fall back in love with his wife.

Trying? Bonnie Raitt lyrics immediately spring to mind: "I can't make you love me if you don't/You can't make your heart feel something it won't."

I've been thinking about this for several days now. If you're in a committed relationship and you become more emotionally connected to a person outside that relationship, do you stay in your current situation, or do you leave? Do you sacrifice your personal happiness for the promise you made to your partner?

Thanks to the S.C. governor's verbal diarrhea, we know way more than we should about his personal struggles. ("My guess is that it's an emotional breakdown," said Katon Dawson, immediate past chairman of the state Republican Party. "He's so emotional now he wants to tell everybody everything.") We also know from their e-mails that Mark Sanford and Maria Belen Chapur weren't just having a fling. They made an emotional connection way before they had a physical one. “This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story,” Sanford, said in an interview yesterday. Dude was crying during the interview; he's been crying a lot lately. “A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day.”

So here's what I wanna know: if you aren't in love with your partner anymore and you want to be with someone else -- and we're not talking about lust, or simple infatuation here -- why stay in that relationship? Because, really, who benefits in the long run? Also, if you know your partner isn't in love with you anymore, why would you want them to stay? I can understand sticking together for the kids, but do you honestly think they won't know that something isn't right?

On the flip side, there's something to be said for making a promise and keeping it. When people commit to each other, it's an agreement that they will live their lives as a team. Most people who have kids in relationships do so with the understanding that they'll have a partner in parenting. A support system in tough times and someone to enjoy the good times. Such a commitment should be able to withstand factors such as infidelity and emotional malaise, right? You work through them and come out stronger on other side.

... Or not.

Oy. Makes me glad to be single. But what about you, readers? Would you leave if you loved someone else, or would you stay?