Do men ever ASK to dance?

Over the weekend I hit a club with Nightlife writer and Paid to Party blogger Sarah Aarthun. We were relaxing at the bar when I drew her attention to a dude nearby who thought he was a backup dancer in Bobby Brown's "Every Little Step" video. He obviously thought he was doing something over there.

"Why doesn't he just ask a girl to dance, so everybody can see him?" I asked Sarah.

"Hmm. I don't think men ask women to dance anymore," was her response.

"Really?!" I said, shocked. Then we both got faraway looks in our eyes as we tried to remember the last time a guy had actually asked us to dance, rather than just coming up on the dance floor and joining in.

Sound familiar, ladies? You're getting your groove on, having fun with your girlfriends when suddenly a guy jumps in between you (if he's really foolish, he'll shout, "SANDWICH!") and starts gyrating like mad. Or you're moving to the music, eyes closed, when you feel a unexpected crotch pressed against your backside. Or you're doing your calm version of the "I'm not gonna sweat" dance (every woman has one) when you slowly realize there's a dude right next to you, bumping and grinding and trying to get you pregnant through your clothes.

I brought up the topic with the friend I call Gabrielle, aka, The Club Bunny. She has dubbed the maneuver the "sneak attack."

"It's about fear of rejection," she theorized. "If you ask someone to dance, you give them a verbal chance to say no. But if you just start dancing with them, they have to turn away or walk away from you on the floor, and some might think it's not worth the trouble. Especially if it's their favorite song -- you'll at least get that one dance."

Back to me and Sarah at the club. We're on the dance floor, grooving and laughing, when my favorite jam surfaces in the DJ's mashup: "It Takes Two" by Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock. (I'm 38, remember?) With a delighted squeal I start dancing harder. Right then a guy eases past us, headed for the bar. He looks at me, and the next thing I know, I'm in his arms and Sarah's giving me a "didn't I tell you?" look over his shoulder as she dances away.

Weigh in on this, people. Ladies: do men still ask you to dance, or do they mostly employ the sneak attack when you're already on the floor? And how do you feel about it? Fellas: Do you ask women to dance, or move in when you see the goofy "This. Is. MY. JAM!" smile spread across their face?