Hey, everybody! I hope you had a great weekend.
I had a fun, sports-packed Saturday night. A girlfriend and I went to the Charlotte Checkers game at the Arena, then walked over to Madison's Bar and Lounge on Fifth Street to watch the Calvin Brock-Wladimir Klitschko title bout. We got there early enough to watch our college teams play on the TVs at The Attic Bar next door, and much yelling and high-fiving and doing the happy dance ensued.
Madison's had a great crowd for the boxing match, a nice age mix and healthy ratio of singles vs. couples. It was hilarious: everyone around me was just like me -- occasional bout watchers who could quote lines from all the "Rocky" movies. We were there to watch because Calvin Brock is a Charlottean. However, I did manage to find a guy who patiently explained to me why the fight ended in the seventh round. ("But he can still stand up," I protested. "Why are they calling it a knock out?")
But the main reason I'm writing about my evening is because my friend (she told me to call her Stella, 'cause "I'm gettin' my groove back"), who's my age, and I wound up giving our phone numbers to younger men.
The reason I gave my guy (age 28) the digits was because he was cute, clever, tall and smelled good .... and because he never deserted his wingman, who was jobless and bored since I had no friend to distract. (By this point Stella was good-naturedly arguing about football with the hottie who eventually got her number.) I enjoyed talking to him. I wouldn't mind hanging out with him again. That's what dating is all about, right? You meet someone and you think you might like them, and they think they might like you, so you agree to spend more time together. Now, this guy may or may not call. (I think most singles can testify about what a crapshoot the phone number exchange can be, especially when it's in a bar.) I enjoyed the time I spent with him nonetheless.
Still, Stella and I have discussed this, the dating of younger men. We both feel a little oogy about it, but can't quite put our fingers on why. Maybe part of it is the negative image of the cougar (from urbandictionary.com: "A 35+ year old female who is on the 'hunt' for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities) waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path."), and we don't want to be seen as that, because we're not. We both actually prefer dating men our age, but this particular night these younger guys kept us laughing and entertained. But then you have to wonder what that guy is looking for -- after all, there were plenty Size 2, cleavage-baring 22-year-olds, tossing their hair and flouncing around. Why weren't they going for them?
Maybe Stella and I should just drop the whole age thing. On Friday, one of my co-workers celebrated her 50th birthday. Sassy and proud, she strolled around the office in a "50 is the new 30" T-shirt. When I e-mailed to wish her a happy day and tell her she doesn't look a day over 35, she responded, "and generally, I feel about as I did at 35. Hope that lasts." Amen, sister.
Readers, weigh in on this. Ladies: Do you like to date younger men? Fellas: Do you like to date older women? Guys and gals: Does age factor in to who you choose to date?
Monday, November 13, 2006
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
16 comments:
As a guy who always dated older ladies when I was younger, I can tell you I prefered them simply because of their maturity; they'd grown past the stage of playing silly games. If I had my life to do over again I wouldn't change my dating habits a bit, other than maybe meeting Debbie sooner....but then there'd be no Lish or Jess!
While in college, I always prefered older women for the simple fact that they don't play games and the better part know what they want. And to the contrary, it's been my experience that older women are just as willing, and are usually better at, anything that my limited experience at the time could have thought of in the bedroom. Thanks to Kim C., you taught me things I didn't know existed.
Growing up, I had always had the midset that I would NEVER date anyone younger than me. When I became 30, I decided to change that mindset. Although it was trial and error with younger guys, it has been an experience! Now that I have reach the 'ripe' (ha ha) old age of 34, I have found love with a man who is 26. We are in the process of planning our wedding! Hey, if Cameron Diaz can do it with Justin Timberlake, so can I!!!
As a 33 year old woman married to a 29 year old man, I definitely can see the upside of dating a younger man :). He did say that he was happy to see that he didn't have to play games when dating me.
I agree with the previous posts. I am a 25 year old woman dating a 23 year man. While two years isn't that much time. I have received a lot of flack because of his age. I have date men 10 years my senior and my same age. What I've learned is that people mature and leave games behind them at different stages. Of all of the men I've dated he's the most settled in his career, home and secure in himself. I love my younger man!
Currently single at 36 I have been dating younger men, because they are attracted to me, they all seem to say the same things older women are HOT, know what they want and don't play games in the process, they have no problem with the age difference and frankly neither do I. At the moment I'm having a good time and that's all that matters for the time being.
Looking back on past dating experiences, there was only one 'younger man'. The relationship lasted for a year and 1/2. Although he thought I was 'the one', he was not my 'one'. At 36 I am flattered to find that I frequently attract younger men. However, most think rattling off a laundry list of what they have is the route to impressing an older woman. Personally I am attracted to a man's life experiences, intelligence, and sense of humor more than his age.
as a male just starting off in a relationship with someone who's 5 years older than me (23 & 28), i can say that we enjoy each other quite a bit and age isn't really a factor -- other than we joke about it a lot. granted, we have a lot in common as well (work as teachers/rather imbittered about work) so that helps.
hey, if it works it works, you know? and for the record i never would've guessed her age until i saw her driver's licsense photo -- and even then i didn't care.
I will turn 35 tomorrow and have been dating and now living with my boyfriend who is 26. We have a wonderful, loving relationship and the age thing has never come into play. I don't feel, nor do I look 35. We have many common interests and generally just enjoy the company of each other. My only regret is that we didn't meet sooner!
I am 49 and for about a year or so, I dated a man that was 9 years younger than I. It was great although he was more serious about the relationship than I was. He wanted to settle down and I didn't.
I am 36 and I love dating men in their 20's. They are more fun and more aggressive, I guess I turn them on for many different reasons. If Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher can do it, we can do it! We are 15 years apart. I never set out to date younger men, but this person is an exception.
I can say that I love dating younger men. I'm a 45 yr old whute male who has a live-in 17 yr old asian boy. He helps around the house and is a darling.
I've had mixed experiences with younger men. A younger man I was formerly involved with grew into a really good friend of mine.He was a very rare exception. However, other younger men I found myself with were major flops because of his overt immaturity that completely turned turned me off.The last younger man I was actually interested in was 10 years younger and shared a mutual attraction.
For anonymous at 1:55 pm: I thought it was interesting that you said you caught flack for dating a guy two years younger than you. When I was 25, I had a 23-year-old boyfriend, and people hardly ever said anything. Go figure. Anyway, at 36, I find that I am attracted to younger men, and by that I mean late 20's. I'm not a cougar; I don't go out on the prowl for them, but they come along and I like what they see...10 years ago I wouldn't have looked at them twice. I still prefer men over 30, but that still leaves room for men who are several years younger than I am. Nothing wrong with it at all...now if the guy was 22, that would be another story. I can't see myself with a guy who was in diapers when I was starting high school! Deirdre, I don't think a 28-year-old is too young for you if he has a good head on his shoulders. I hope he calls and this leads to something nice, if only for a little while.
If you're a 36 year old woman looking for a 20-something...it's not what's on his SHOULDERS you're looking for!
I am a 37 year young woman, I have always prefered younger men, as I am young minded and look ten years younger than I am (so I'm told). I just met this guy he's 24, but we get along great. Not sure where it's going we're just friends for now, However I do wonder what he's after. Do younger men really want a relationship, or just bragging rights??? any MEN care to weigh in on that?
Post a Comment