It's Just Lunch -- an organization that organizes first date lunches or drinks after work -- recently polled almost 3,000 singles to find out their opinions on dating, love and smoking (in honor of the upcoming Great American Smokeout on Nov. 16). In the survey, 61 percent said they would not go on a first date with someone they knew smoked.
Alisha: And do you blame them? Smoking is nasty, and the worst part about dating a smoker is the foul taste you get in your mouth after kissing them. Kissing an ashtray is not my idea of a turn-on.
Deirdre: No lie. Their clothes tend to smell like a saloon, and there's that lovely smoker's hack. Not sexy. So we can agree that smoking is a sure deal breaker when it comes to dating -- we're talking do not pass go, forget the cell number, lose the e-mail address. Got any others?
Alisha: Oh yeah. Who doesn't? There's a fine line between being too picky and just downright ruling a characteristic out. Definite deal breaker: A guy who cannot hold a conversation. You don't have to be a walking wikipedia, however, you can't chat about your job every night.
Deirdre: Agreed. Years ago I finally got a date with a hot guy I had been lusting over for months. We went to a movie and out to dinner afterward ... and he couldn't string two coherent thoughts together. A dim bulb. He also had no sense of humor, which is another deal breaker for me.
Alisha: Amen. How about, since you're single - are men with kids a deal breaker?
Deirdre: I'm OK with one or two children, not the Brady bunch. But even if it's just one kid, if it's a property-destroying, foul-mouthed, unmannered little heathen, forget it.
Deirdre: And I hope I don't come across as superficial here, but if a guy and I don't see eye-to-eye (literally), that's a deal breaker. I'm 6 feet tall, and I've had my share of men not much above boob level.
Alisha: I hear ya, coming from the 5-foot-9 girl here. And, when I was single - I always used to find men who were not into sports. Yes, Margaret, there are men out there who do not watch SportsCenter 24-7. If a guy can't tell me which local team was in the 1977 Final Four, then, adios, buster.
Deirdre: Bigots are unacceptable. And while he doesn't have to be rich, dude does have to have a job. I support myself, and I expect whoever I'm with to take care of his business as well.
Alisha: Sexual incompatibility. 'Nuff said.
Deirdre: Heck, yeah! And iffy hygiene. Ever since I heard Matthew McConaughey hasn't used deodorant in five years, I can't look at him without wrinkling my nose.
Alisha: Well, before we get too nitpicky about every little thing, down to the long hair on one's big toe, let's ask readers: What are your deal breakers?
Friday, November 10, 2006
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19 comments:
Men who are recently coming out of a serious relationship. Although I understand that most of the time, we don't have the luxury of knowing those kinds of details until during or after the first date. But, I am not interested in being someone's rebound girl.
Bad teeth...which is usually caused by bad hygiene, so I'm definitely with ya' there! Bathing and brushing are a must!!!
One word.... Republican .... big time deal breaker
I wouldn't rule out Republicans - they smell good, look good and are usually more than gainfully employed! (OT - 5 years w/o deodorant? Gross - he isn't that cute!)
Any man who has any kids at all would be a dealbreaker for me.
What exactly makes a republican a deal breaker?
I guess it is the whole go-to-work-pay-your-own-way-be-responsible-for-yourself credo republicans tend to have. That can be a real turn off!
a heavy drinker!
Judgmental women
Blind date. Woman had mustach. I was sober, too.
if he has been jobless for more than 6 weeks. there's no excuse. unless he's trust fund baby or a sugar daddy and is lookin for someone to spoil.
and i wouldn't mind snuggling up to Matthew to find out if the deodorant rumor is true.
I am glad you all have Deal breakers lined up. It will give you an easy out when they DON'T WANT YOU. I think most people have something to offer and people should not defined by a single thing or your first preceptions. You should get to know people before casting judgements. This whole idea is superfical and sad. You are condoning the very behavior that gets you to 36 and never married. Add Men who don't put up with stupid girls to your list. I am out.
The above comment is basically what I was getting at with "judgmental women." Thank you for elaborating.
I can't stand opinionated people. Those who can't agree to disagree.
I also can't deal with someone who thinks that you should be talking about moving in after one date.
Anytime I want to end the dating relationship, I just the woman that I'm a cancer survivor (which I am....twice) and its guaranteed to have her running.
For anonymous 11/10, 7:57 pm: I agree that most people do have something to offer to a relationship, but does that mean we are supposed to waste our time trying to find the good qualities in someone, when they have a bad quality that outweighs everything? Life is too short to spend it with a too-short, ugly, unemployed man with kids all over town, just because he is a sensitive, caring, non-abusive person. On the other hand, some people do go to an extreme with pickiness, and that can cause them to wind up by themselves. Bottom line, have some standards and stick to them, but don't get crazy with it!
Any guys with kids, or that ever wants kids, is an instant deal-breaker.
There are so many disgusting men out there like a smoker, heavy drinker, lies, cheat and doesn't know how to dress and be well groomed. I would not date anyone seriously if they are not successful in their career, life and health. Where are the men that are emotionally, financially and spiritually secured??
To anonymous at 11/13 8:02pm - you asked:
"Where are the men that are emotionally, financially and spiritually secured??"
After reading your comments I can tell you that the answer is we are busy dating women less bitter than you. Stop the man-hating and maybe you'll find one.
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