Can you find love without looking?

As my friend and I once were lamenting the lack of a love life, my friend told me that, although she truly desired a serious relationship, she did not wish to seek. She wanted to be found.

It's not that my friend never got offers. She received invites for dates regularly.

She just never accepted them, finding reasons to turn down one guy because of one fault, and the next guy for a completely different fault. The criticisms generally were superficial because she never gave the guys a chance. (In the interest of full disclosure, I will confess that I once seriously considered dumping a guy because he held his fork in a really annoying way.)

But as for the not seeking, but being found: I didn't understand it then, and I don't understand it now. If you want something in your life -- from the trivial to the intrinsic -- don't you have to seek it at some level? Don't you have to do some research, some self-examination -- or, at the very least, some thinking?

If you want it, don't you have to work for it?

Your search might not take you down the intended path. When I met my husband, I was actually scamming for his friend. I soon found out the friend was a donkey. And my husband wasn't. Most days.

That discovery required a search.

Being found sounds magical. It seems effortless. But, in the end, I wonder if sticking with that plan would prove more effort than it's worth.