Will we ever like public couples?

When it comes to the seesaw of public opinion, the past few weeks have given us the extreme highs and lows of relationships and politics.

Most recently, we watched in awe -- and, many of us, in disgust -- as S.C. governor Mark Sanford confessed to an extramarital affair and his wife, Jenny, explained that she kicked him out to maintain her dignity. We derided the governor, praised his wife, and pitied their family for having to deal with all of it.

A few weeks before that, we saw President Obama take his wife, Michelle, on a romantic date -- dinner in New York City and a Broadway show. We complained. We asked: Were the Obamas setting an unrealistic example for romance? We sniffed: Nice that he can take his wife to NYC for a date, unlike the rest of us.

So we don't like philanderers. And we don't like romantics. Huh?

Seems like, when it comes to couples in the public eye, all we do is complain.

We've criticized how Elizabeth Edwards has handled her husband's infidelity. We've watched with glee for any sign of strife between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. We slammed Lisa Marie Presley for marrying Michael Jackson -- and questioned her need to declare her love upon his death.

So, who do we love? Is there a high-profile relationship in which we wouldn't find fault? And, if the answer is no, what does that say about us?

Way to go, Jenny Sanford!

I want to buy Jenny Sanford a drink. Girlfriend could probably use one about now.

People are slamming on her, saying she's a controlling harpy. So cold, so bossy, so tough. No wonder her man ran into the arms of another woman, they say. If she'd been concentrating on what was going on at home, instead of what was going on at the office, she might not be in this mess.

What a crock.

I think Jenny Sanford is awesome. We've seen a parade of political wives who've stood by their men as they denied or apologized for their sexual indiscretions. Every time there's a chorus of, "why is she putting up with this? How can she stand to be humiliated in such a way? What a fool!" and so on. Then the Sanford crap hits the fan and Miss Jenny is so not like those other wives. She's probably like, "you know what? I've been dealing with this hot mess for five months while this joker tries to figure out what he wants to do. I've already kicked his butt out. The kids will need therapy. And he left Father's Day weekend? No way I'm going down like this!"

So what does she do? When Mark Sanford went missing, she didn't cover for him. She admitted she had no idea where he was, knowing what message that would send. When he held his mea culpa news conference, she and her four boys were nowhere in sight. When reporters asked about her husband's political career, her response was, "his career is not a concern of mine. He'll have to worry about that. I'm going to worry about my family and the character of my children."

Love her.

Jenny Sanford is going through a defining moment in her life, and she has chosen to put herself and her kids first -- not her husband's career. I admire that. She's handling this situation on her terms, which has got to be hard, considering the intense pressure she's under. If she takes her husband back, it won't be for appearance's sake, it'll be because she wants to give their marriage another chance.

Where others see a harpy I see a strong, smart woman who's being straight-up with everyone, especially her husband. Why criticize her for standing up for herself? At least she'll be able to hold her head high after this ... which is more than we can say for Mark Sanford and his Argentinian mistress.

Update: Jenny Sanford offers details about how she found out about the affair here. Man, did her husband dig himself a deep hole!

What's in a kiss? A lot

This incident may go down as one of the best or one of the worst decisions of Halle Berry's career.

If you missed it, all you have to do is Google to find photo evidence galore: The actress briefly made out with actor Jamie Foxx when he gave her the Decade of Hottness award at Spike TV's 2009 "Guys Choice Awards" over the weekend. Actually, "made out" might be too tame a term. Her hand went for his crotch while he grabbed her butt like he planned to take a hunk of it home with him (he also looked like he wanted to cry and/or thank Jesus, which was pretty funny). Depending on how you feel about Halle, Jamie or very public scope-and-gropes, the scene was disgusting, degrading, or hot as hell.

What I find fascinating is how people have responded. Message boards are overflowing with people weighing in. There's the "what was she thinking, she's a mother and an Oscar winner" camp. There's the "ain't she got a man at home and won't he be packing his bags when he sees this" camp. There's the "once you go black, you always come back" camp. (Halle's S.O. is model Gabriel Aubry, who is crazygorgeous ... and white.) There's the "Jamie Foxx is the luckiest man alive and I really hate him" camp. The "they totally had sex in a dressing room after" and "somebody got laid when they got home" camps. And so on. A few seconds of screen time have sparked hours of conversations about race, sexual boundaries, relationship boundaries and modern-day feminism.

For my part, I thought it was bad idea. Don't get me wrong -- I think she should be able to do whatever she wants to do. But no matter if it was Jamie or any other man (or woman), I thought her actions were disrespectful to her partner. It's one thing if you're an actor and you slobber on somebody because it's in the script. But all she had to do was show up and accept an award, not offer up soft-core porn for YouTube posterity. Also, it seemed a little desperate to me. Halle doesn't have go for the gusto with Jamie Foxx to prove that, at age 42, she deserves a hotness award; she does it by simply breathing.

Maybe it was a publicity stunt. Maybe she's always had a jones for Jamie and seized (no pun intended) the opportunity. Maybe her man made her mad before she left the house, and she decided to get back at him in a very public way. We'll never know.

Just as we can have many reactions to what she did, we can think of just as many explanations for her actions. One thing's for sure: if Halle Berry wanted to be in the spotlight, she got her wish.

Elizabeth Edwards -- whose story is it?

Why, the critics of Elizabeth Edwards ask, would she write about her husband's infidelity in her new memoir, "Resilience"? Why would she discuss it with Oprah Winfrey on national television?

They scold her: Hasn't John Edwards put you through enough? Do you have to put yourself through the wringer?

"People feel they have license to tell me how I should have reacted and responded," Edwards told The (Raleigh) News & Observer on Saturday when she held a book-signing at a local bookstore. "This story I'm telling is my own and no one else's, and no one can decide how I should tell it."

So let's try these possible explanations for her very public disclosures:

She needed catharsis. Months of rumors and denials and admissions have caused her immeasurable stress, emotional and physical. Telling her story could lift that from her shoulders.

She needed confession. The chance to describe how she felt and what she thought would, she hoped, put an end to some of the questions about how she has handled her relationship with her husband going forward.

She needed to move on, because she has incurable cancer and feeling rancor about John Edwards' affair with a campaign staffer would not allow her to enjoy every moment she has left of her life.

The story of John Edwards' affair was told -- and continues to be told -- in the most public of arenas in the most repetitive fashion (none of them particularly sensitive to his wife and their children). Elizabeth Edwards is correct -- it is her story to tell. Why shouldn't she have her chance, on her terms?

After all, she (tragically) will not have to live long with the sadness and hurt her husband's affair has caused her, her children, her family.

Only her husband will have the chance to heal that.

Preach, Kelly, preach!

"American Idol's" first winner, Kelly Clarkson, has had enough of a certain rumor about her.

"Just because I'm single and don't date a lot, that doesn't make me a lesbian," she pronounced.

I think it's a shame it's come to that -- she's a singer, and her sexual orientation has nothing to do with her ability -- but I'm happy Kelly is so outspoken. Should she have to talk about her dating life? No. But I'm glad she did.

Whether she wants to be or not, Kelly Clarkson is a role model. In a time where we have Rihanna going back to an abusive boyfriend and Paris Hilton going through men like Kleenex, it's heartening to see a young, successful woman who doesn't need a romantic relationship to define her.

Kelly also is representative of a societal shift: staying single longer, by choice. It's a decision that still makes you suspect. There must be something wrong with you if you're alone. You're ugly, or you're secretly gay, or you have Issues -- any of a number of reasons that would make you a dating leper. Many people still find it hard to believe that someone who is attractive and accomplished might choose to remain unattached.

Said one commenter on the story CharlotteObserver.com has about Clarkson: "I think society just has a problem with single people being just that. Single. It's not an affliction. I've had so many people say to me 'why don't YOU have a bf or a husband?' Didn't know I needed one? Men are good for two things in my mind, sex & buying things. Doesn't make me a lesbian. People just need to get over it and start minding their own business."

Well, until they do, it's a good thing someone prominent like Kelly is setting people straight.