Trouble in a red dress

Flipping through the channels on a recent sleepless night, I stumbled across a particularly interesting episode of "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?"

A young couple from Pennsylvania was planning their marriage, but family problems got in the way.

Groom and brother/best man couldn't get along. The groom was devastated when it came down to this: His brother wouldn't stand for him on his wedding day. He was moved to sobbing; I felt for him.

Then, the groom's mother wouldn't cooperate with the bride's wishes in terms of attire.

Huh? I thought, this bride needs to get over it. Dresses aren't important enough to get upset about.

Then I saw the dress -- red and vampy. And heard the mother-in-law say she was so happy about her son getting married, she wanted to pretend it was her day -- and that she was the bride.

Granted, that dress looked spectacular. And the mother-in-law was a bubbly hoot, it seemed. (At least the editing made it look so.) But there's being happy for your child's good fortune, and there's taking the spotlight when you really shouldn't.

The bride decided to let it ride. And, come wedding day, everyone was happy. Groom and brother made up; the guests smiled graciously as mother-in-law made the rounds; bride was beautiful.

But I hope that red dress wasn't a harbinger of serious family relationships issues to come. I wouldn't place any bets on it.

Friends, 18 years in the making

It took nearly 18 years of knowing each other, but my sister-in-law and I have finally formed a friendship.

More than that, I'd say Deana has been a primary lifeline for me these past two years -- getting used to juggling two children, deciding to spend most of my time at home with them, and acclimating to a new city in the midst of all the other changes.

We talk several times a week (sometimes several times a day) to share hilarious -- and not so funny -- kid stories (and maybe a husband tale or two). We blow off steam about the fleeting annoyances in our lives. We celebrate victories as we figure out how best to be a professional woman and a mom and a wife at the same time.

Why did it take so long?

I can't exactly say why. We had always gotten along when we saw each other, and we talked occasionally over the years outside of the family get-togethers. But Deana reached out a little after my oldest child was born, and I was determined to keep in touch with her with regularity.

I guess it comes down to this: We had never really stopped long enough in our busy lives to realize how much we like each other, and how much we could support each other.

And here we are, two years later, sharing a blessing of a relationship that allows us to get a window into the daily lives of our nieces and nephews, though they live many, many states away.

She gives me the reality check I need when craziness is swirling around me.

Best of all, she makes me laugh, and everyone needs a friend like that.