(The lack of) gym etiquette

Gym relationships can be tough, because for the most part, it's a bunch of strangers sharing space and equipment. Some people can be clueless or disrespectful when dealing with fellow fitness buffs. (I'm talking about YOU, cell phone gossipers!)

Driving around this afternoon I heard an interview on NPR's "Talk of the Nation" with Newsweek reporter Tina Peng, who talked to some fitness club managers about gym rats' most obnoxious habits. The story was sparked by a Manhattan incident of gym rage: one guy became so annoyed by the grunts and shouts of a fellow rider in spin class that he tipped the other guy right off his bike and into a wall (been there, wanted to do that). Tina's list of offenses is impressive -- and yes, it includes some nut who used the sauna to make grilled cheese sandwiches, like the photo illustration above.

Not to be outdone, listeners called in with gross-out stories of their own. One dude saw a guy use the communal hair dryer to dry his private bits. Then a gym owner called to complain about people who spit in the water fountain. Ew.

What about you, area gym people? Seen anything that really ticks you off?

Strangers calling us 'hun' and 'baby'

Deirdre: Something I've noticed: When the security guards downstairs -- at least a dozen years older than me -- say hello and goodbye, they use terms of endearment. "Darlin'." "Precious." "Doll Baby." "Princess." It doesn't bother me; in fact, it usually makes me smile. But when younger guys address me as "baby" or "boo" or "sweetheart," it really bugs me. Does stuff like this ever happen to you?
Alisha: Sure. In fact, it happened Thursday at Bruegger's Bagels. The guy fixing my bagel kept calling me sweetie. Each time he said it, I melted. It was, um, sweet.
Deirdre: How old do you think he was?
Alisha: He made some comment that he's been married 10+ years, so ... I thought he looked 35.
Deirdre: Hmm. I don't know how I would feel about that. I think that in general, men in their 50s and older use terms of affection because that's the way they were raised -- with a protective, almost paternal, attitude toward women. But younger men, especially those under 35 ... they've been raised with women as their equals. So for them to use such a term (especially if they are strangers) can be almost insulting, because it seems more of a conscious act.
Alisha: It's not an age thing at all. On the whole, it's an issue of men being courteous toward women. If a 19-year-old guy, who is mature, calls me "sugar," then I'm going to smile and think it's cute. Just because a man grew up in the 1950s doesn't mean he's more apt to use terms of endearment versus boys who were taught good manners by their parents.
Deirdre: I agree with your last sentence, but I don't think I'd be smiling if some 19-year-old called me "sugar." I'd probably raise an eyebrow so high, I'd get a cramp in it -- I'm old enough to be his mom! I don't think that's respectful.
Alisha: Possibly. I guess it depends on the situation. I thought you, having grown up in the South like myself, would have adjusted to men using such terms?
Deirdre: I didn't hear the terms much from strangers during my years in California, so it's more obvious to me now. Also, I've become more sensitive to it as I age. I think I'm just irritated by men I don't know calling me "baby" and looking at me, as an old friend used to say, like "they want to put me on a plate and sop me up with a biscuit."
Alisha: If you're walking down a street, and a construction worker screams over the machinery, "Hey baby, what's shakin'?" then that can be construed as just rude. But, if I'm getting my oil changed and a guy says, "Car's all done, love." Then I'll just say thank you.
Deirdre: Is this mostly a female thing? I wonder if guys are ever bothered by being called "hun" by women they don't know.
Alisha: Men aren't left out. Have you never been to a truck stop before? The ladies at the counter are always calling those fellas all kinds of names.
Deirdre: It probably washes right over them.
Alisha: Affectionate nicknames are acceptable in my book, as long as they're not a disguise to subjugate me as a woman.
Deirdre: I don't want to leave you thinking I find all men younger than me insulting when they use nicknames. For example, there's a guy at work who looks about 30. When he sees me he always says "how you doin', love?" It gives me a little thrill because of the way he says it -- it's confident, there's an awareness that we're not giggling preteens but a man and a woman ... yet there's nothing skeezy about it. What bothers me about some men and their "baby's" is they come across as ingratiating. Assuming intimacy when there is none.

What say you, readers? How do you feel about terms of endearment from strangers?