Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Day of love, multipartisan style

I don’t like writing about Valentine’s Day. Everyone has his or her own opinion on how to deal with it, sans a significant other or not.

And much like Valentine’s Day, I don’t like writing about politics. No matter what you say or how you say it or with what spin you put on it, you just simply cannot win.

In giving it some heavy thought – over a Bojangles’ biscuit and a small sweet tea – I think there's some striking similarities between a person’s political stance and his or her approach to Valentine’s Day. Yes, this might be stretching things a bit and it might lean a tad toward stereotyping, but I’ve never seen a comparison chart of two such vastly different topics. So here’s my attempt:

Democrats: In this liberal relationship, both partners receive gifts. They’re the ones walking around Hallmark with the 4-by-6 foot Garfield “I love you” card. Valentine’s Day is spent with breakfast in bed, a picnic lunch, and a five-star steak dinner preceding a trip to the movie theater.
Republicans: With the more conservative approach, the lady is the one who is showered with gifts, chocolates and flowers. Guys take a backseat on this holiday. A typical Valentine’s Day would include the lady receiving red roses at work and the kids making Mom dinner.
Independents: These are the couples who will often decide together to boycott the holiday because, well, why do you need one day of the year to express your love? They might purchase a card for each other, but the festivities are spread throughout the year.
Green Party: Valentine’s gift ideas for a Green Party member – subscription to National Geographic, a basket filled with herbal tea and tofu and an aloe plant instead of commercial roses.
Libertarians: Don’t be surprised to see these folks throwing a Valentine’s Day party. Why not? Play some games, eat some food, drink some wine. As a party that believes in strong civil liberties, this group isn’t going to hold anything back when celebrating.
Socialist Labor Party: Doesn’t Valentine’s Day fall on a Wednesday this year? Um, yeah. So these people are going to treat Wednesday just like every other Wednesday. Get up, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, go to bed and repeat the next day. It’s as simple as that.

Got any more political parties and similarities?


MB said...

Nothing like waking up to a blog post seeking to further stratify and divide American society by making light of loosely founded stereotypes of people based upon political affiliation. And people are surprised that there is such a sharp divide between ideological groups? Ya'll are as bad as racist old Tonya Jameson

kaoes said...

I think they were just trying to be funny, like those "how many harvard students does it take to screw in a light bulb?" joke, or the one about the different ethnic groups stranded on the desert island. Do those further stratify society? Maybe if you nothing else to do but think about how you can put down blogs on charlotte.com, but I think to the ordinary person, it's just supposed to be funny.

gbr said...

If it had actually been funny, then there would have been less of a reason for my esteemed fellow poster MB to post. As a whole the article was totally devoid of anything beyond blatantly obvious humor based upon (silly) stereotypes. It was poorly done, and in poor taste.

Anonymous said...

OMG lighten up people!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

We just found two people who haven't had to worry much about Valentines Day in a long while, and probably don't need to worry about a summer fling either.

Anonymous said...

Unreal why do people read blogs expecting the same news they got from CNN. It is a simple discussion topic coming from a personal angle. If you don't like it start your own blog. Sorry hat to say this!jjpbyrt

Chill people...

BTW I like...very amusing

Anonymous said...

I found it very amusing....and obviously a joke. Lighten up people!!

Anonymous said...

The people who didn't like the blog probably aren't getting any for Valentine's Day, or any other time, for that matter. Get a life, you uptight twits!

Anonymous said...

Georgiaboy sez:
Didn't you cover the Socialist Labor Party with the demorat listing? Party, enjoy, and Ted Kennedy will give ya a ride home! LOL!
Deb sure seemed to like her conservative red roses!