Monday, February 19, 2007

Such a thing as nice guys finishing last?

Alisha: There's one cliche many of my guy friends tend to loosely throw out when discussing their dating lives: "Nice guys always finish last." I want to know why they feel this way.
Deirdre: Did you ask them?
Alisha: Yes. Some of them question why girls don’t want to be treated right. Others list off all the things they have going for them: a steady job, decent income, a loving family, etc.
Deirdre: Hmm. That's tough, because I know a lot of women who feel the same way. I used to feel the same way about myself, in fact. Here's the conclusion I came to: It's not about how much I make, or what job I have or how many years I went to college. What's going on here is I pick the wrong kind of guy. I think a lot of these "nice" guys and girls might have the same problem.
Alisha: So because you pick the wrong person, you automatically lump yourself into "I never get the guy (or girl) category?" Why not say, "I just always pick the wrong type to date"?
Deirdre: Oh, I agree! That's what we should be doing! But when it comes to the nice ones not getting the partner they want, part of it might be their behavior as well. Wouldn't you agree?
Alisha: Are you saying all nice people are timid when it comes to approaching a potential partner?
Deirdre: No. But some are. Courtship can be a scary thing, especially if someone doesn't have a lot of experience.
Alisha: Sure, the routine can be quite intimidating. It's just the reverting to the "I'm a nice guy so that's why I'm still single" is a bunch of hogwash. If people want to think they're always going to finish last and never get the girl or guy because they're a nice person -- I guess there's just no changing their mind. It all sounds like excuses to me.
Deirdre: True. But I would caution them to take a long, hard look at themselves. Are they going after unattainable people? To put it bluntly, there's a certain subset of people who think they are too young, beautiful, cocky and rich to hook up with anything other than young, beautiful, cocky and rich people. If you don't meet that description, keep your nice self away. Or ladies, know how there are "bad" boys? Avoid 'em like the bird flu. You might have a good time at first, but you'll probably get your heart broken ... or your stuff stolen.
Deirdre: So what advice would you give your "nice guy" friends? I'm assuming you've discussed this with them.
Alisha: Jump off the nice-guys-finish-last high horse, dust off your smile, open up your ears and look at life as though your one true love just hasn't found you yet. Oh, and stop making excuses – nice guys can finish first.


Anonymous said...

Well the turth of the matter is nice guys are ugly. Since I am handsome I always get my chick!!

Anonymous said...

I pull down lots of hot chicks 18-35. Provably hot, demonstrably hot. And I'm a totally nice guy...... to chicks that are hot.