Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Faces behind sexual dysfunction

When reading Tonya Jameson’s story on sexual dysfunction affecting young couples in Charlotte, I have to say I was a tad surprised, but not for the reason you might think.

All of the couples interviewed went by first names only. Wow, that’s super odd, I thought. If the point of the story is to bust down this big myth that sexual dysfunction only affects couples well over age 40, then why would my generation even consider hiding behind a cloak of anonymity? You should be loud and proud, ready to scream to the world that you and your partner are not alone in your own little sexual hell.

But … wait a second here … The light bulb in my head all of a sudden grew into a much brighter shade of yellow. (No jokes please!)

There’s the catch. What if I had to not only admit to but also proclaim – on paper or in a blog, no less – that yes, my husband and I do indeed have a serious sexual dysfunction? It’s easy to talk about someone else’s problems, but when it comes to breaking down the game film of our own sexual lives – that’s hitting a tad too close to home.

I don’t want to spill my guts about every sexual problem my husband and I have encountered in our short marriage. Let’s face it, it’s not easy to divulge such sensitive topics. Would you want your family and coworkers reading your blog about how your husband lasts a mere five minutes or how your wife puts in a 60-hour work week and ya’ll haven’t had sex since before Christmas, for example (and no, these are not issues in my relationship)? I think not.

Maybe this supposed “myth” really isn’t a myth after all. I bet most of us know sexual dysfunction doesn’t just affect Baby Boomers. I bet most of us know there is help out there for our sexual woes, no matter how long you’ve been married or how long you’ve had sex.

Thing is, what we do realize is it’s just not easy putting our names right next to it.


Anonymous said...

All I can say is WOW!!! I would have never known so many 20 somethings faced this problem. Please couples take time for yourselves!! Now I do get that your wedding night can be a little unproductive...after all you had to do that day it is understandable that you would be tired.
Maybe it's that some of these couples waited so long for the "big event" that they made it have to be extra special?? Maybe if they had just done "the deed" on their third date they wouldn't be in this situation?? HAHA
Seriously, I am shocked and wish I could give these couples advice.
a 40 something that really wishes she was a sex therapist.

Anonymous said...

Busy schedules jobs, kids, grocerties cleaning and oh btw we need to have sex it has been 2 weeks.

Anonymous said...

Well if you view it as a chore no wonder it sucks.

Anonymous said...

As a 20 something married male I can say that there is more truth to this article than many want to admit or believe. It also goes much further and deeper than "we need to have sex more often". Society says to do want you want, when you want, with no commitment. This behavior is destructive to oneself and those that they may interact with. Therefore, the assumption is that those who do decide to tie the knot better either have an 'intense passion' for one another or sign a pre-numpt.
A solid marriage is only going to stand with the foundation of good communication and a true commitment to one another. If we are unwilling to address these issues as a society (or even closer to home as an individual), how can we expect any good change to take place.
My hope is that anyone who is facing these types of situations or circumstances mentioned in this article would be honest and true to them selves to deal with them. Get help if need be - quality of life is better than trying to meet the 'status quo'. I've been there, believe me, it is much more fulfilling to seek help and deal with the tough issues than to go at it alone or pretend it's not there.


Anonymous said...

Well I will lay it on the line. My partner and I Jeff Size*** and Leann from Gastonia has had problems since the beginning 5 years ago. We are in our early 30's and have tried many drugs. What turned out the best for us was to express our enter feelings by role play. We are able to take ourselves out of our inner beings. It worked give it a try. -Leann

Anonymous said...

Totally overrated...as long as the bank account's up there, screw someone else!