Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Long-distance love sure isn't easy

Deirdre: You've written about how you and your husband often don't see each other because of conflicting schedules, but what if you hadn't seen each other because you lived far apart -- do you think you still would've gotten married?
Alisha: He lived north of Greensboro when I first met him and I went to UNC Charlotte, so for three months, we did long-distance dating and it wasn't easy. If we had to date like that for years, gosh ... I don't know.
Deirdre: I've never been in a long-distance relationship. I attempted the early stages once, but with the wrong guy. He was a wannabe player and couldn't be trusted. Who knows what he would've been doing when I wasn't around!
Alisha: I admire anyone who has successfully pulled it off. It does require a lot of trust, tons of patience and a willingness to try phone sex.
Deirdre: HA! You cut right to the heart of it -- how do couples last without a steady level of physical intimacy? I think it depends on their personalities. And sex drives.
Alisha: Yeah, kissing the phone good night is not my idea of intimacy, though sometimes it is comforting to at least have someone who cares and can be there when you need to vent. It makes me wonder if some couples function better when there's distance rather than being on top of each other all the time.
Deirdre: You just made me think of a former co-worker. She and her man were a great pair long-distance, but as soon as he moved to be with her, their relationship crumbled. When you're apart, there's mystery and romance. When you're together for an extended period of time, the flaws are inescapable.
Alisha: So, is it really a relationship if you get together just a couple times a year?
Deirdre: I think a relationship is whatever the people involved agree that it is. If couples feel their needs are met even though they only see each other once or twice a year, more power to 'em. You never know what's going on inside a relationship unless you're in it.
Alisha: Amen to that. It's got to be challenging to maintain a marriage via e-mail, phone and trips home every couple of months. I'd like to see my husband take out the trash from 2,000 miles away!
Deirdre: Well, that's just it -- you have to be comfortable living what's essentially an independent life. You have to have enough self-confidence and enough faith, love and trust in your partner to believe even though you're miles away, you're still crucial to each other.
Alisha: There you have it, folks: If long distance works for you, congrats to you and yours. If it isn't, um, well, ever heard of online dating?

3 comments:

Charlotte Mortgage said...

very hard with long distance dating. I used to see my ex (who live more than 1hour away) almost every other day. She introduced me to fishing...and that was the end of the relationship. :)

Anonymous said...

Holy crap is long distance loving hard to do. I've done it often enough, too damn often in fact. Whatever you think about the girl, don't do it! No No No No No!!!

Anonymous said...

For Immediate Release


Charlotte, N.C.—The Charlotte African American Writers (CAAW) presents “The Literature and Arts Review II” 5 o’clock P.M. at the Mint Museum 2730 Randolph Rd. on Saturday November 17, 2007. The event will highlight a variety of local and national writers, performers, poets, dancers, artwork and playwrights. Proceeds from the benefit will be donated to the At Risk Teens program within the Charlotte community

The venue will start with book signings of 20 local/national authors. Amongst the gifted writers, the group will feature Essence bestselling author T.N. Baker author of “Shiesty”, “Shiesty II”, “Crème” and her latest release “Dice”, published by St. Martin’s Grifin and the profound motivational speaker/author Mr. Carl Neely. Mr. Neely is the author of the non-fiction book, “Seeing The Invisible Doing the Impossible,” the book addresses the insights of being unstoppable in your quest for success. Mr. Neely’s latest book, “IVision, you can make it happen,” is also a non-fiction self-help/motivational book that touches the minds of readers. It identifies ideas and the principals to staying motivated in-order to achieve and accomplish your goals. The thought provoking, page-turning book, exemplifies how to obtain success that can be seen and not necessary tangible. This will be IVision's début; it is fresh off the press—released from print Nov. 2007.

A one act play: “Under The Sacred Robe,” written by Tony Bellamy, and directed by Xavier Zsarmani. “Under the Sacred Robe,” displays the power and control delivered from the Pulpit concerning the engagement between husbands and wives within the congregation. It depicts ways to release oneself from the negative authorities encountered while embracing spiritual nourishment. Mr. Zsarmani, has produced many plays, his most nationally notable play was,” If These Teens Could Talk.” www.xavier-zsarmani.com

The talented quartet “Grace Squared,” will perform from their debut CD. Four gifted young ladies with tear dropping, harmonic blended, angelic voices shall mesmerize the audience. The Senior African Drummers will display their talents at the beat of their drums, under the direction of Ms. Debra Scott. Other performances includes: An array of poetry from members/local poets, a dance group from the Latta Dance Ensemble, and a slue of authors and special guest. Come join us and help raise money and awareness for a worthy cause. Tickets are only 20.00$. The event will start at 5 PM. You can purchase tickets from any member of the Charlotte African American Writers (CAAW). For more info please contact: Clayton F. Brown @704 777 8317, founder, or Tony Bellamy @704 241 0190 or Claudette Milner @ 704 281 9363



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