As my friend and I once were lamenting the lack of a love life, my friend told me that, although she truly desired a serious relationship, she did not wish to seek. She wanted to be found.
It's not that my friend never got offers. She received invites for dates regularly.
She just never accepted them, finding reasons to turn down one guy because of one fault, and the next guy for a completely different fault. The criticisms generally were superficial because she never gave the guys a chance. (In the interest of full disclosure, I will confess that I once seriously considered dumping a guy because he held his fork in a really annoying way.)
But as for the not seeking, but being found: I didn't understand it then, and I don't understand it now. If you want something in your life -- from the trivial to the intrinsic -- don't you have to seek it at some level? Don't you have to do some research, some self-examination -- or, at the very least, some thinking?
If you want it, don't you have to work for it?
Your search might not take you down the intended path. When I met my husband, I was actually scamming for his friend. I soon found out the friend was a donkey. And my husband wasn't. Most days.
That discovery required a search.
Being found sounds magical. It seems effortless. But, in the end, I wonder if sticking with that plan would prove more effort than it's worth.
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Husband Hunting Bra? This is just wrong.
C'mon now. This wouldn't even work as a gag gift.
New from the Japanese company Triumph comes "support" for "the women who don't have everything: the 'Husband-Hunting Bra.' " Yep, it's a brassiere with a nuptial timepiece (above) that the wearer sets herself.
"First you decide your target time or deadline till marriage and the countdown clock will start. Once you find your life partner and get engaged, you have to insert the engagement ring into the slot and the clock stops and 'The Wedding March' begins," Keiko Masuda of Triumph told Reuters.
Sigh.
Like other countries, Japan's marriage rate is falling and the average wedding age -- now 28 -- is rising. Fifty-seven percent of women under age 34 are single, and Masuda said they've become more aggressive in their quest to find a mate. "The roles have switched completeley," he said.
And how is this bra supposed to help? As if the pressure to get to the alter wasn't enough, some chicks now need foundation garments to remind them their biological clocks are ticking? Ugh.
Friday, March 27, 2009
'Tough Love' an easy sell
I don't often recommend "reality" dating shows (I mean, I watch Bret Michaels' "Rock of Love," but I wouldn't tell any you to tune in), but VH1 is really on to something with its new series "Tough Love." So much so, I've found myself recommending it to friends, and I suggest you guys watch it, too.
The thing that makes this show stand out is that, like the book "He's Just Not That Into You," the male reaction is front and center. No matter what these chicks do, there's always a segment where the host, real-life matchmaker Steve Ward, lets them see what the men they interacted with really think, so they can learn from it. Hence the title.
It's funny and painful and a great idea. And it makes for entertaining and informative TV.
In the "Tough Love" boot camp, Steve works with ladies who represent archetypes of single women (here's the "cast" with Steve and his mom JoAnn in the middle; the duo runs Master Matchmakers in Philadelphia). There's the gold-digger, who will only date men with money and has never held a real job. There's the chick who likes to take on men with problems, so she can "fix" them. There's the former stripper with serious intimacy issues. There's the 25-year-old who has already planned her wedding and tells men on the first date that she wants to get married and have her first kid by age 29. There's Miss Picky, who wears a tiara and a wedding ring (because she's committed to herself -- no kidding) and has a loooooooong list of requirements for her perfect man. There's Miss Ball-Breaker, an aggressive, braggart of a woman who enjoys intimidating men. There's Miss Lone Ranger, a 38-year-old who's focused on her career for so long, she hasn't made time for a man. And then there's the "Fatal Attraction" chick who becomes way too attached, way too fast when she meets a suitable mate.
Like I said earlier, the best part is that the women get to find out what men think of them. In the first episode, they each had to stroll past three guys, and the guys told Steve what they thought of each woman. The women later got to see what the men said. Steve's point? Women are being judged by men all the time, everywhere they go, based on how they look. Also in that episode the women went to a mixer and later saw see footage of how they interacted with men and what the men thought of them. (One poor girl didn't make an impression on any of them -- they couldn't even remember who she was. Ouch.)
While these women are extreme, it's easy to see some of ourselves in them. While we might not pick our nose on the first date as the ball-breaker did, we might talk about our accomplishments a little too much in an effort to impress. And while we might not have a "tiara test" like Miss Picky, most of us probably have a mental checklist we consult as we try to decide if we want to see someone again.
Whether you're married or single, dating or taking a break, "Tough Love" is worth watching -- even better in a group, so you can discuss. New episodes air Sunday nights at 10 and repeat during the week.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Preach, Kelly, preach!
"American Idol's" first winner, Kelly Clarkson, has had enough of a certain rumor about her."Just because I'm single and don't date a lot, that doesn't make me a lesbian," she pronounced.
I think it's a shame it's come to that -- she's a singer, and her sexual orientation has nothing to do with her ability -- but I'm happy Kelly is so outspoken. Should she have to talk about her dating life? No. But I'm glad she did.
Whether she wants to be or not, Kelly Clarkson is a role model. In a time where we have Rihanna going back to an abusive boyfriend and Paris Hilton going through men like Kleenex, it's heartening to see a young, successful woman who doesn't need a romantic relationship to define her.
Kelly also is representative of a societal shift: staying single longer, by choice. It's a decision that still makes you suspect. There must be something wrong with you if you're alone. You're ugly, or you're secretly gay, or you have Issues -- any of a number of reasons that would make you a dating leper. Many people still find it hard to believe that someone who is attractive and accomplished might choose to remain unattached.
Said one commenter on the story CharlotteObserver.com has about Clarkson: "I think society just has a problem with single people being just that. Single. It's not an affliction. I've had so many people say to me 'why don't YOU have a bf or a husband?' Didn't know I needed one? Men are good for two things in my mind, sex & buying things. Doesn't make me a lesbian. People just need to get over it and start minding their own business."
Well, until they do, it's a good thing someone prominent like Kelly is setting people straight.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Now THIS is a daddy issue
File this one under "And I thought I had dating problems!"Meghan McCain, the 24-year-old daughter of senator and former GOP presidential contender John McCain, says the '08 election ruined her personal life.
"Of all the things people warned would happen post-election, no one ever said anything about how complicated dating would become," Meghan wrote in a recent essay, "Looking for Mr. Far Right." It it, she explains the unique dating difficulties that come with being the offspring of the prominent Republican. Meghan says she makes a point of keeping politics out of her relationships, and while she's been successful in her friendships, there's not much success on the dating front.
"Here's the biggest surprise: I am not only turned off by people who voted for Barack Obama, but I am also turned off by people that voted for my dad — or more so, obsessive supporters of my dad," Meghan wrote.
"... Nothing makes me more ill than the idea of some guy bragging to his friends that he was going to go on a date with 'John McCain’s daughter.' (Unfortunately this has happened more times than I would like to count and each time I can sense it within the first 30 seconds of meeting them.) One extreme fan of my mother’s recently told me I could be “his Cindy.” And then asked me if I ever wore pearls because they probably would look as good on me as they do on my mother. No, I'm not kidding."
Kin-ky.
Meghan says she didn't date at all while on the campaign trail with her dad ("too paranoid about getting set up for some sort of weird 'gotcha' moment") and has spent a lot of time hanging out with girlfriends since. Earnest guys who've felt the need to explain why they voted for Obama, or McCain fans who've worked "maverick" and "straight talk" into dinner conversations have left her cold.
"I am sure I am not being fair to all the men out there, but my recent experiences have left me scarred and wary of dating. At this point, my biggest aphrodisiac is an apathetic attitude toward politics."
Wow. Enamoured policy wonks need not apply.
Monday, March 02, 2009
What's wrong with these roses?
Ladies, a man sends you a dozen roses by way of introduction -- and in hopes of getting you to agree to a date. You:
A. Rejoice. Romance is alive and well! You call to thank him for the gift, you chat a little bit and you schedule that date. He just might be a keeper.
B. Read the note, which goes a little something like this -- "Having enjoyed meeting you, please accept these roses as an invitation to dinner" -- and you think, "Weird. Why didn't he just ask me when he saw me?" Your answer to his invitation: thanks for the flowers, but no thanks to the invite. Let's be friends.
C. Don't respond. What in the world is this guy doing sending me flowers, and, if he's so interested, why do I have to call him to set up a date? Stalker alert: Let the red flags wave.
For one Relate reader, the answer has been a version of C, every time. Seems he keeps sending a dozen roses to women he has met casually, but they never acknowledge their receipt, let alone the dinner invitation -- even if he sees them again.
By way of background, this reader was married for 12 years and says he took a few years off from dating before re-entering the scene. Then he started sending the roses. To four women, to be exact.
Not one date resulted. He says not one woman told him she had received the flowers.
He's frustrated. He says of the women he's encountered on the dating scene: "They claim to want a man who is stable, comfortable, who can provide the security that is needed in a relationship, but yet you watch the type/style these women date and it makes you wonder which side of the mind are they thinking with. For me, I look at the woman's inner beauty, who she is inside, what makes her tick."
So, readers, what should he do?
A. Rejoice. Romance is alive and well! You call to thank him for the gift, you chat a little bit and you schedule that date. He just might be a keeper.
B. Read the note, which goes a little something like this -- "Having enjoyed meeting you, please accept these roses as an invitation to dinner" -- and you think, "Weird. Why didn't he just ask me when he saw me?" Your answer to his invitation: thanks for the flowers, but no thanks to the invite. Let's be friends.
C. Don't respond. What in the world is this guy doing sending me flowers, and, if he's so interested, why do I have to call him to set up a date? Stalker alert: Let the red flags wave.
For one Relate reader, the answer has been a version of C, every time. Seems he keeps sending a dozen roses to women he has met casually, but they never acknowledge their receipt, let alone the dinner invitation -- even if he sees them again.
By way of background, this reader was married for 12 years and says he took a few years off from dating before re-entering the scene. Then he started sending the roses. To four women, to be exact.
Not one date resulted. He says not one woman told him she had received the flowers.
He's frustrated. He says of the women he's encountered on the dating scene: "They claim to want a man who is stable, comfortable, who can provide the security that is needed in a relationship, but yet you watch the type/style these women date and it makes you wonder which side of the mind are they thinking with. For me, I look at the woman's inner beauty, who she is inside, what makes her tick."
So, readers, what should he do?
Friday, February 27, 2009
A reader asks: What happened to casual dating?
Alicia: Today, we pose a question: If the object of your attraction states at the first date that he/she isn't interested in a commitment, do you stick around? We ask because a reader wonders:
"What about women wanting a commitment when men state from the start they do not want one? Usually men and women do want to date, but want to casually -- this does not always mean that sex is involved. I’ve noticed it’s more prevalent in these parts that if you want to casually date, and say that at the beginning, women are up for it at first, but after three dates or so they are pressing you for some sort of commitment. What about keeping your options open? Men and women, at least this gives us something to compare, and to see who's personality or vibe is a better fit. I do think it would have both sexes thinking and looking more inward."
Deirdre: It's been said that people tell you exactly who they are when you first meet them. It's just a matter of if you choose to hear them or not. I think in a lot of cases, people turn a deaf ear to news that the person they want a relationship with is not interested in a relationship with anyone.
Alicia: Someone who says "no commitment" at the outset is closing off possibilities that haven't even opened up. Doesn't seem like someone I'd want to hang with romantically or otherwise.
Deirdre: I don't know. I think I might. I'm not looking for a relationship either, and it would be fun and freeing to hang out with someone with no strings attached. But what if I become attached?
Alicia: That's always the danger, isn't it? And isn't someone who says he's not looking for a commitment at the outset daring you not to care? I'd be headed for a lot of hurt.
Deirdre: And how many people have we known who have dated a commitmentphobe thinking that person would change their mind?
Alicia: I know I've broken up with a few ...
Deirdre: And the reader's point about why we have to make a decision after the third date -- I say: not everyone does. But the majority of women in America do want to partner up and have kids. The clocking is ticking on their eggs. Also, in general people's time is limited. They often date with a purpose now.
Alicia: That's true. Do you agree with his opinion that the expectations seem to be higher in our area than in others? I've found that it doesn't matter where you live, more people in the dating way want commitment than don't. Or maybe it's just the people I know.
Deirdre: Like a friend of mine recently said: "Women in different regions are just different kinds of crazy." That goes for men, too. It just seems hard where you are because that's where you are.
Alicia: Geographically and emotionally.
Deirdre: Also, the reader's mention of sex -- is it even possible to make it to the third date without at least a trip to third base? When I say I'd rather not kiss on the first date, people look at me like I'm a nun. There's an assumption of physical intimacy these days that makes a person suspect if they enjoy someone's company without swapping bodily fluids.
Alicia: And that's a whole other level of entanglement.
Deirdre: So, yeah, for a lot of people plenty is riding on those early dates. If it was ever a "casual" pastime, it certainly isn't now.
"What about women wanting a commitment when men state from the start they do not want one? Usually men and women do want to date, but want to casually -- this does not always mean that sex is involved. I’ve noticed it’s more prevalent in these parts that if you want to casually date, and say that at the beginning, women are up for it at first, but after three dates or so they are pressing you for some sort of commitment. What about keeping your options open? Men and women, at least this gives us something to compare, and to see who's personality or vibe is a better fit. I do think it would have both sexes thinking and looking more inward."
Deirdre: It's been said that people tell you exactly who they are when you first meet them. It's just a matter of if you choose to hear them or not. I think in a lot of cases, people turn a deaf ear to news that the person they want a relationship with is not interested in a relationship with anyone.
Alicia: Someone who says "no commitment" at the outset is closing off possibilities that haven't even opened up. Doesn't seem like someone I'd want to hang with romantically or otherwise.
Deirdre: I don't know. I think I might. I'm not looking for a relationship either, and it would be fun and freeing to hang out with someone with no strings attached. But what if I become attached?
Alicia: That's always the danger, isn't it? And isn't someone who says he's not looking for a commitment at the outset daring you not to care? I'd be headed for a lot of hurt.
Deirdre: And how many people have we known who have dated a commitmentphobe thinking that person would change their mind?
Alicia: I know I've broken up with a few ...
Deirdre: And the reader's point about why we have to make a decision after the third date -- I say: not everyone does. But the majority of women in America do want to partner up and have kids. The clocking is ticking on their eggs. Also, in general people's time is limited. They often date with a purpose now.
Alicia: That's true. Do you agree with his opinion that the expectations seem to be higher in our area than in others? I've found that it doesn't matter where you live, more people in the dating way want commitment than don't. Or maybe it's just the people I know.
Deirdre: Like a friend of mine recently said: "Women in different regions are just different kinds of crazy." That goes for men, too. It just seems hard where you are because that's where you are.
Alicia: Geographically and emotionally.
Deirdre: Also, the reader's mention of sex -- is it even possible to make it to the third date without at least a trip to third base? When I say I'd rather not kiss on the first date, people look at me like I'm a nun. There's an assumption of physical intimacy these days that makes a person suspect if they enjoy someone's company without swapping bodily fluids.
Alicia: And that's a whole other level of entanglement.
Deirdre: So, yeah, for a lot of people plenty is riding on those early dates. If it was ever a "casual" pastime, it certainly isn't now.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Girls: Why don't you call back?
Yesterday I wrote about how a guy asked for my number (we were at a club) and he hasn't called. I asked readers -- in particular, male readers -- what would make them ask for contact info and then not use it. Several guys turned the question back on me in the comments. Here's a great example:
"I completely understand your frustration, however as a guy I have had the same thing happen. You meet a girl at a bar/club have a good time and you both seem interested in another meeting, the girl gives you her number you call, and she doesn't answer or call back. I would rather her just say she's not interested and that would save us both time. I think that a lot of women are afraid to say no in person and it's easier to ignore a phone call."
I could not agree more -- just (tactfully) say you're not interested! That would be so refreshing. But I think our first response is to say something that will either avoid confrontation or spare feelings.
Ladies, it's your turn. A guy asks for your number. Do you give him a fake one? If it's real, do you give it knowing that you won't answer when he calls? Or do you give your number with every intention of talking to him ... but then wake up the next day and think better of it? Also: any chicks out there who pull a preemptive strike and ask for the guy's number first?
"I completely understand your frustration, however as a guy I have had the same thing happen. You meet a girl at a bar/club have a good time and you both seem interested in another meeting, the girl gives you her number you call, and she doesn't answer or call back. I would rather her just say she's not interested and that would save us both time. I think that a lot of women are afraid to say no in person and it's easier to ignore a phone call."
I could not agree more -- just (tactfully) say you're not interested! That would be so refreshing. But I think our first response is to say something that will either avoid confrontation or spare feelings.
Ladies, it's your turn. A guy asks for your number. Do you give him a fake one? If it's real, do you give it knowing that you won't answer when he calls? Or do you give your number with every intention of talking to him ... but then wake up the next day and think better of it? Also: any chicks out there who pull a preemptive strike and ask for the guy's number first?
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Guys: Why ask if you're not gonna call?
I was at a club with friends Sunday night when I met a man. We chatted, we danced, and as I prepared to leave, he asked for my phone number.
I thought, "oh, why not?" He was polite, attractive and he made me laugh. I wouldn't mind seeing him again. So I gave him my number.
That was Sunday. Now it's Thursday. I haven't heard from him.
This is where opinion breaks down between the sexes. I'm sure there are plenty of men thinking, "Give the guy a break. It's only Thursday." I'm equally sure there are plenty of women thinking, "You gave him your number on Sunday? Girl, he is so not calling." Either way, I'm not holding my breath for a phone call.
Ladies, how many times have you given your phone number and never heard from the guy again? You're probably like me: not heartbroken, just curious as hell. Why ask for the digits if you're not going to use them?
Men, here's your chance to set the record straight. If you've ever asked for a woman's contact info and then never used it, tell us why. Did you lose it? Did you wake up the next morning and think back on how dark it was in the club, and maybe she wasn't as cute as you thought she was? Did you decide you'd rather not be bothered? Did you get back with your ex? Or do you like to ask for a chick's number, just to see if you can get it?
Come on, guys. Solve one of dating's enduring mysteries!
I thought, "oh, why not?" He was polite, attractive and he made me laugh. I wouldn't mind seeing him again. So I gave him my number.
That was Sunday. Now it's Thursday. I haven't heard from him.
This is where opinion breaks down between the sexes. I'm sure there are plenty of men thinking, "Give the guy a break. It's only Thursday." I'm equally sure there are plenty of women thinking, "You gave him your number on Sunday? Girl, he is so not calling." Either way, I'm not holding my breath for a phone call.
Ladies, how many times have you given your phone number and never heard from the guy again? You're probably like me: not heartbroken, just curious as hell. Why ask for the digits if you're not going to use them?
Men, here's your chance to set the record straight. If you've ever asked for a woman's contact info and then never used it, tell us why. Did you lose it? Did you wake up the next morning and think back on how dark it was in the club, and maybe she wasn't as cute as you thought she was? Did you decide you'd rather not be bothered? Did you get back with your ex? Or do you like to ask for a chick's number, just to see if you can get it?
Come on, guys. Solve one of dating's enduring mysteries!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
A little love knowledge
Opinions abound as to who was the original Valentine; the most popular theory is that he was a clergyman who was executed for secretly marrying couples in ancient Rome (going against the orders of Emperor Claudius II, who thought marriage weakened his soldiers). In any event, in A.D. 496, Pope Gelasius I declared Feb. 14 as Valentine Day, and St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers. Esther Howland, a Massachusetts native, is given credit for selling the first mass-produced valentine cards in the 1840s. Here's a quick quiz, courtesy of the U.S. Census Bureau, which seems to track everything:
1. What’s the average length of first marriages that end in divorce?
A. 3 years
B. 8 years
C. 18 months
D. 5 years
2. How many dating service establishments are there nationwide? Include Internet dating services.
A. 85
B. 904
C. 300
D. 1374
3. How many marriages took place in 2007?
A. 800,000
B. 5 million
C. 1 million
D. 2.2 million
4. What state ranked the most in marriages that year?
A. California
B. Nevada
C. Texas
D. Massachusetts
5. What was the per capita consumption of candy by Americans in 2007?
A. 11 pounds
B. 57 pounds
C. 24.5 pounds
D. 104 pounds
And just so you know ...
-- Fifty-seven percent of American women and 60 percent of men age 18 or older are married. (That includes people who are separated).
-- The median time between divorce and a second marriage is 3 1/2 years.
Romantic-sounding places to spend Valentine's Day:
Roseville, Calif.
South Heart, N.D.
Darling township, Minn.
Lovejoy, Ga.
Valentine, Neb.
Loveland, Okla.
Romeoville, Ill.
Loving, N.M.
Romeo, Mich.
Love Valley, N.C.
QUIZ ANSWERS
1. B, 8 years. Maybe there is something to that "seven-year itch."
2. B, 904. So why are so many people still single?
3. D, 2.2 million. That breaks down to a little more than 6,000 a day.
4. A, California. Although so many couples tie the knot in Nevada that it ranked fifth nationally, even though its total population that year among states was 35th.
5. C, 24.5 pounds. No word on how many dentist appointments that adds up to.
1. What’s the average length of first marriages that end in divorce?
A. 3 years
B. 8 years
C. 18 months
D. 5 years
2. How many dating service establishments are there nationwide? Include Internet dating services.
A. 85
B. 904
C. 300
D. 1374
3. How many marriages took place in 2007?
A. 800,000
B. 5 million
C. 1 million
D. 2.2 million
4. What state ranked the most in marriages that year?
A. California
B. Nevada
C. Texas
D. Massachusetts
5. What was the per capita consumption of candy by Americans in 2007?
A. 11 pounds
B. 57 pounds
C. 24.5 pounds
D. 104 pounds
And just so you know ...
-- Fifty-seven percent of American women and 60 percent of men age 18 or older are married. (That includes people who are separated).
-- The median time between divorce and a second marriage is 3 1/2 years.
Romantic-sounding places to spend Valentine's Day:
Roseville, Calif.
South Heart, N.D.
Darling township, Minn.
Lovejoy, Ga.
Valentine, Neb.
Loveland, Okla.
Romeoville, Ill.
Loving, N.M.
Romeo, Mich.
Love Valley, N.C.
QUIZ ANSWERS
1. B, 8 years. Maybe there is something to that "seven-year itch."
2. B, 904. So why are so many people still single?
3. D, 2.2 million. That breaks down to a little more than 6,000 a day.
4. A, California. Although so many couples tie the knot in Nevada that it ranked fifth nationally, even though its total population that year among states was 35th.
5. C, 24.5 pounds. No word on how many dentist appointments that adds up to.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Passing the, um, scream test?
The friend I refer to as Gabrielle, aka "the club kitten," called last night after the Super Bowl to commiserate (we both rooted for the Cardinals) and to share a dating story.
At the all-girl Super Bowl party Gabrielle attended, talk turned to dating during halftime. One of the stories involved a mutual female friend. It seems that when this woman is on a first date, she imagines screaming her date's name during sex. If the name doesn't just flow off the tongue, her interest dims. It's not a deal-breaker, per se, but it doesn't help the date's chances if they have a multisyllabatic moniker.
Gabrielle was floored. She couldn't believe such an assessment was used on a first date. It's rather shallow, no?
Also, "you should see this girl," Gabrielle said. "She is so mousy. To look at her, you wouldn't think she would even scream during sex, and then to imagine her screaming out someone's name?"
The girls at the party saw the look on Gabrielle's face and burst out laughing. Then they started yelling her name in a faux orgasmic frenzy.
The sad/funny/weird thing? After telling me that story, Gabrielle said that she'll probably imagine herself screaming out her next date's name. And now I will, too!
At the all-girl Super Bowl party Gabrielle attended, talk turned to dating during halftime. One of the stories involved a mutual female friend. It seems that when this woman is on a first date, she imagines screaming her date's name during sex. If the name doesn't just flow off the tongue, her interest dims. It's not a deal-breaker, per se, but it doesn't help the date's chances if they have a multisyllabatic moniker.
Gabrielle was floored. She couldn't believe such an assessment was used on a first date. It's rather shallow, no?
Also, "you should see this girl," Gabrielle said. "She is so mousy. To look at her, you wouldn't think she would even scream during sex, and then to imagine her screaming out someone's name?"
The girls at the party saw the look on Gabrielle's face and burst out laughing. Then they started yelling her name in a faux orgasmic frenzy.
The sad/funny/weird thing? After telling me that story, Gabrielle said that she'll probably imagine herself screaming out her next date's name. And now I will, too!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Guys: Does it matter what women wear?
Fellas, I need you to weigh in on this one.
New Year's Eve I went to a party with a girlfriend. It was one of those big events where there's hundreds of people milling around, drinking, dancing and yelling at each other over the music. We ran into one of our coworkers from another department. He was with a group of welcoming, fun people, so we hung out with them for awhile.
After a few more drinks our coworker looked at us and announced that we were dressed all wrong for the party. (Truth be told, it did seem that the uniform for the night was strapless cocktail dress, and we didn't get the memo.) He told my friend that she was dressed like a grandmother. She had on black velvet pants and a cute, '50s inspired black short-sleeved sweater. Then he told me to look at myself -- I was covered from head to toe. I had on wide-legged black pants and a black blouse that was gauzy, but, indeed, long-sleeved.
Our coworker looked sincerely confused. He said we were both sexy women. He said he'd seen us in more enticing outfits at work than the ones we had on at the party. Basically, he wanted to know why were were hiding our light under a bushel.
We weren't offended by his comments; he'd had a lot to drink and even though his remarks were blunt, he obviously wasn't trying to be hurtful. My friend and I are NYE party veterans, and were going for classy comfort when we chose our outfits.
But we discussed his comments after he'd gone off to dance with his date. My friend argued that a man shouldn't be attracted to her just because she was wearing a revealing outfit; he should be attracted to the person she is as well. I agreed that women shouldn't feel like they had to dress borderline hoochie to get male attention, but added that there's nothing wrong with accentuating one's natural assets.
Guys, this is where you come in. Do you find yourself more likely to approach a woman if she's dressed provocatively, or if she's in jeans and a T-shirt? Or does it not matter what she's wearing?
New Year's Eve I went to a party with a girlfriend. It was one of those big events where there's hundreds of people milling around, drinking, dancing and yelling at each other over the music. We ran into one of our coworkers from another department. He was with a group of welcoming, fun people, so we hung out with them for awhile.
After a few more drinks our coworker looked at us and announced that we were dressed all wrong for the party. (Truth be told, it did seem that the uniform for the night was strapless cocktail dress, and we didn't get the memo.) He told my friend that she was dressed like a grandmother. She had on black velvet pants and a cute, '50s inspired black short-sleeved sweater. Then he told me to look at myself -- I was covered from head to toe. I had on wide-legged black pants and a black blouse that was gauzy, but, indeed, long-sleeved.
Our coworker looked sincerely confused. He said we were both sexy women. He said he'd seen us in more enticing outfits at work than the ones we had on at the party. Basically, he wanted to know why were were hiding our light under a bushel.
We weren't offended by his comments; he'd had a lot to drink and even though his remarks were blunt, he obviously wasn't trying to be hurtful. My friend and I are NYE party veterans, and were going for classy comfort when we chose our outfits.
But we discussed his comments after he'd gone off to dance with his date. My friend argued that a man shouldn't be attracted to her just because she was wearing a revealing outfit; he should be attracted to the person she is as well. I agreed that women shouldn't feel like they had to dress borderline hoochie to get male attention, but added that there's nothing wrong with accentuating one's natural assets.
Guys, this is where you come in. Do you find yourself more likely to approach a woman if she's dressed provocatively, or if she's in jeans and a T-shirt? Or does it not matter what she's wearing?
Friday, January 23, 2009
I slept with him ... now, silence
From a worried reader:
"I have had feelings for this friend of mine for a few years, but nothing has ever really happened between the two of us until recently (we live in separate cities). We actually took the friendship to a more physical level over the holidays. We did speak the day after and he said everything was cool and not awkward, but it's been a few weeks since I heard from him and now I am afraid that our friendship is over. Do you think friendships can overcome a one-night stand? Also, a female friend of his recently wrote on his Facebook wall that she missed and loved him sooo much! Now, do you tell your male friends that you love them? I usually don't. Is this a red flag?"
Alicia: I'm confused about this question. Does she want a romantic relationship with him or a friendship -- and which is more important to her?
Deirdre: I feel sure she wants a romantic relationship. And that's the problem.
Alicia: No kidding. If they haven't talked about that possibility, I fear that ship has sailed.
Deirdre: She's right, Reader. I know you don't want to hear this now, but you should've talked it out with the guy before you fell into bed together. And while I do think friendships can withstand a one-night stand, in your case, I don't recommend it. You want more than he does. If you and he were on the same page, you wouldn't still be waiting to hear from him.
Alicia: Do you think it would hurt for her to lay her cards on the table, though? I know I'd feel awfully coulda-shoulda-woulda if I didn't at least tell him how I felt, knowing that he probably wouldn't reciprocate. But then, I've been known to be a glutton for punishment.
Deirdre: OK. I used to feel the same need for closure. But experience has taught me that when you pursue it, you're just asking to be hurt. People have a tendency to make excuses for romantic prospects when they don't act right. He hasn't lost her number. He's not too busy to call. He just ... won't. Now, can we discuss this Facebook chick?
Alicia: That's a whole other side of putting yourself out there. Sounds like she had one too many cocktails before declaring her looove.
Deirdre: Yes, Reader, it's a red flag. She's totally making a play for him, and in a public, marking-her-territory way.
Alicia: Well, in this case, Reader, you might take comfort in this: I bet he hasn't called her, either.
Deirdre: HA! And as for using the "L" word with male friends, I tell some of my guy friends that I love them. But they know perfectly well I don't mean it THAT WAY. Again, it comes down to communicating, so there won't be any misunderstandings.
Alicia: I've learned that one the hard way. Well, I guess communication is a good way to check the situation -- or soften the blow of disappointment -- before you open yourself up to someone.
Deirdre: But take heart, Reader! You're not in the same city, so you probably won't run into him at a club and get arrested for punching him in the face! Seriously, though, learn from this experience and count yourself lucky that you didn't get involved with him. You deserve better than a man who neglects you for weeks. Now, get a great outfit together -- you're going out this weekend!
What about you, other readers? What's the relationship miscommunication you'll never forget?
"I have had feelings for this friend of mine for a few years, but nothing has ever really happened between the two of us until recently (we live in separate cities). We actually took the friendship to a more physical level over the holidays. We did speak the day after and he said everything was cool and not awkward, but it's been a few weeks since I heard from him and now I am afraid that our friendship is over. Do you think friendships can overcome a one-night stand? Also, a female friend of his recently wrote on his Facebook wall that she missed and loved him sooo much! Now, do you tell your male friends that you love them? I usually don't. Is this a red flag?"
Alicia: I'm confused about this question. Does she want a romantic relationship with him or a friendship -- and which is more important to her?
Deirdre: I feel sure she wants a romantic relationship. And that's the problem.
Alicia: No kidding. If they haven't talked about that possibility, I fear that ship has sailed.
Deirdre: She's right, Reader. I know you don't want to hear this now, but you should've talked it out with the guy before you fell into bed together. And while I do think friendships can withstand a one-night stand, in your case, I don't recommend it. You want more than he does. If you and he were on the same page, you wouldn't still be waiting to hear from him.
Alicia: Do you think it would hurt for her to lay her cards on the table, though? I know I'd feel awfully coulda-shoulda-woulda if I didn't at least tell him how I felt, knowing that he probably wouldn't reciprocate. But then, I've been known to be a glutton for punishment.
Deirdre: OK. I used to feel the same need for closure. But experience has taught me that when you pursue it, you're just asking to be hurt. People have a tendency to make excuses for romantic prospects when they don't act right. He hasn't lost her number. He's not too busy to call. He just ... won't. Now, can we discuss this Facebook chick?
Alicia: That's a whole other side of putting yourself out there. Sounds like she had one too many cocktails before declaring her looove.
Deirdre: Yes, Reader, it's a red flag. She's totally making a play for him, and in a public, marking-her-territory way.
Alicia: Well, in this case, Reader, you might take comfort in this: I bet he hasn't called her, either.
Deirdre: HA! And as for using the "L" word with male friends, I tell some of my guy friends that I love them. But they know perfectly well I don't mean it THAT WAY. Again, it comes down to communicating, so there won't be any misunderstandings.
Alicia: I've learned that one the hard way. Well, I guess communication is a good way to check the situation -- or soften the blow of disappointment -- before you open yourself up to someone.
Deirdre: But take heart, Reader! You're not in the same city, so you probably won't run into him at a club and get arrested for punching him in the face! Seriously, though, learn from this experience and count yourself lucky that you didn't get involved with him. You deserve better than a man who neglects you for weeks. Now, get a great outfit together -- you're going out this weekend!
What about you, other readers? What's the relationship miscommunication you'll never forget?
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
He just wasn't that into me
I'd been at a friend's Christmas party for a couple hours when her neighbor showed up. Her single male neighbor. Her sexy single male neighbor.
I had met this guy before at another party; he was laid-back, confident and witty, in addition to being easy on the eyes. And when a small pack of us moved to a nearby bar to continue drinking and talking, I figured it was the perfect time to get to know him better.
At this point, I'd been drinking for awhile, so my reaction time was slow. I mention that because signs I normally would've noticed went right over my head. Signs like while we did talk and laugh at the party and at the bar, he didn't come over to join my conversations, but rather, I joined his. Also, he spent more time with other women at the bar than with our group. But all was made clear when, at one point, we were standing next to each other, but his attention was on a thin blonde nearby.
"So ... you like skinny white chicks?" I asked.
"Yep," he replied with a nod and a smile. A refreshingly pithy response, actually.
And ... that was that. I'm not skinny, or white. I will never be skinny, or white. I looked really good that night, and conversation flowed smoothly, but if I'm not his type, there's nothing I could do, you know?
I think a lot of women beat themselves up when something like this happens. I know I used to. You think that, because a certain man isn't attracted to you, there has to be something wrong with you. You must've said the wrong thing. Wore the wrong outfit. If only you were prettier, smarter, skinnier, taller, funnier. The truth of the matter is, it's not even about you, really. We all like what we like. Just because one particular man isn't attracted to you, that doesn't mean all men feel the same way. But I think that some women (and men, too, don't wanna leave you out) take a lack of interest personally, when they shouldn't.
So I shrugged off the sexy neighbor. There's plenty of men who do like non-skinny, non-white chicks. Of that, I'm sure.
I had met this guy before at another party; he was laid-back, confident and witty, in addition to being easy on the eyes. And when a small pack of us moved to a nearby bar to continue drinking and talking, I figured it was the perfect time to get to know him better.
At this point, I'd been drinking for awhile, so my reaction time was slow. I mention that because signs I normally would've noticed went right over my head. Signs like while we did talk and laugh at the party and at the bar, he didn't come over to join my conversations, but rather, I joined his. Also, he spent more time with other women at the bar than with our group. But all was made clear when, at one point, we were standing next to each other, but his attention was on a thin blonde nearby.
"So ... you like skinny white chicks?" I asked.
"Yep," he replied with a nod and a smile. A refreshingly pithy response, actually.
And ... that was that. I'm not skinny, or white. I will never be skinny, or white. I looked really good that night, and conversation flowed smoothly, but if I'm not his type, there's nothing I could do, you know?
I think a lot of women beat themselves up when something like this happens. I know I used to. You think that, because a certain man isn't attracted to you, there has to be something wrong with you. You must've said the wrong thing. Wore the wrong outfit. If only you were prettier, smarter, skinnier, taller, funnier. The truth of the matter is, it's not even about you, really. We all like what we like. Just because one particular man isn't attracted to you, that doesn't mean all men feel the same way. But I think that some women (and men, too, don't wanna leave you out) take a lack of interest personally, when they shouldn't.
So I shrugged off the sexy neighbor. There's plenty of men who do like non-skinny, non-white chicks. Of that, I'm sure.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Google helps avoid drunk e-mailing
Haven't we all sent messages we later regretted? Google has launched a new feature to combat a particularly disastrous form of e-mailing: late-night drunk typing.
I found out about this on the blog at Good Vibrations (it's great site that sells sex toys and adult videos, but there's also lots of good information about sexual health and other issues). The idea is that when you’ve been partying, you’re less likely to be both willing and able to do simple math problems. So if you enable Mail Goggles (its like beer goggles, but in reverse), Gmail will make you solve some math before you can send your e-mail. Here's what it looks like:
By default, it’s active on weekend late nights since that’s when most people may need it. But if you like to get your drink on in the afternoon, you can set it for any time of day.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
You won't get lucky with these lines
Ran across a delightful short by Salon.com's Kate Harding with some serious dating don'ts: things guaranteed to not get you laid. You'll have to admit, her list is pretty good:
1. Don't tell me on a first date about the time you were tested for chlamydia (because you found out your high school girlfriend was "a bit of a skank") and go on to describe in loving detail the sensation of a medical-grade Q-tip being inserted into your penis.
2. When informed that I have an autistic nephew, don't respond with, "Well, at least when he gets older, you can take him to Vegas, right?"
3. Do not bring red roses to a woman on the first date. This is not an adorably romantic gesture. This is creepy as all hell.
4. Do not tell me that despite your being in your early 30s, most of your friends are in their early 20s, because "they just get you better."
5. Do not attempt to impress me by speaking Spanish to a waitress, if you don't actually speak Spanish.
6. Do not call out, as you watch my ass while I walk to the washroom, "You know, you're not really that fat. You're, like, thick at best."
7. When I say, "Hey, you know, my friends will make sure I get home OK, so you can feel free to go," do not interpret this as an invitation to stay.
Can you top Kate's list?
Thursday, August 21, 2008
10 date night ideas under $15
Unless you're a believer in the "no dating" method of saving money, here are some recession-proof date night ideas, courtesy of The Nest (www.thenest.com). Yeah, they're cheesy, but they'll help you think cheap.
FIESTA NIGHT
Here's an idea for some delicious and caliente amusement.
— Novelty sombreros: $10
— Chips and salsa: $5
— Doing the Mexican Hat Dance naked in said novelty sombreros: hilarious
Total: $15
KICKBALL
Positioning you and your sweetie on opposing teams makes for an excellent grudge match and great make-up sex later on.
— Kickball: $5
— Big grassy field: free
— BYOB: whatever you've got at the house
— Cotton T-shirts and markers (clearly you need team jerseys): $2/each if you get at least 12
— Losers buy the pizza: makes things much more interesting
Total: around $10/person
ROMANTIC ITALIAN MEAL
While it's odd to say that dogs once epitomized romance, we loved the scene at the Italian restaurant in “Lady and the Tramp.” Skip the pricey pasta and opt for the cheaper (and cheesier!) pizza instead. Kissing isn't optional.
— 2 slices of pizza: $5
— 2 glasses of wine: $4
— Ice cream for 2: $6
Total: $15
FASHION SHOW
She loves “Project Runway” for the fashion and drama, he loves it for, well, Heidi Klum. Combine your passion for fashion and fun and then take it all off at home.
— Trying on ridiculous outfits at a vintage store: free
— Disposable camera: $6
— Incriminating pictures: priceless
Total: $6
MOVIE NIGHT
Miss the wild abandon of your college days? Have the gang over for beers and movie but save the make out session for later.
— Renting “Old School”: $5
— Inviting your friends over: free
— Going really old school and having people throw in beer money at the door: awesome
— Going streaking through the quad: optional
— Popcorn for 20: $10
Total: $15
WATCHING THE SUN SET
Like our love lives, it's easy to overlook the beautiful things that happen around us everyday. Watch the sun go down and then share a kiss under the stars.
— Blanket to sit on: $6
— Sunglasses: $2/each at your local drugstore
— Lemonade: $1/each
Total: $12
POETRY NIGHT
When it's done right, poetry can express love like no other medium. Remember Byron's “She walks in beauty like night?” Well, bad poetry can be just as evocative and downright hilarious.
— Berets: $10
— Espresso: $5
— Trying to out-do one another with cheesy, horrific poetry about your love for one another: awesome
Total: $15
PEOPLE-WATCHING, AKA ‘CREATE YOUR OWN MOVIE'
Not all dates have to be steamy! Simply spending time together is what dating is all about. Pick a beautiful day to sit on a bench in a park and marvel at the wonders and freaks! of nature.
— Bottle of wine: $8
— Plastic cups: $3
— Bench: free
— Marveling at the wonders of the public: more fun than you think
Total: $11
SILLY SEX NIGHT
We'll let the Wikipedia entry for edible underwear speak for itself on this one: “Edible underwear is a type of undergarment that is formed of an edible material which can be consumed by the partner during sexual activity. In this case, pleasure is heightened by undressing the partner with the mouth. However, this sort of underwear is often given as a gag to friends …”
— Edible panties: $6
— Kama Sutra booklet: $5
— Keeping information about the number of positions you try to yourselves: please do
Total: $11
TAKE A BATH TOGETHER
Hot tubs are overrated! There's fun to be had in your very own bathroom. Rub-a-dub-dub, keep it sexy in the tub.
— Luxurious bath soap and salts: $8
— Back-massaging Loofah: $5
— Getting clean and being dirty at the same time: sexy
Total: $13
FIESTA NIGHT
Here's an idea for some delicious and caliente amusement.
— Novelty sombreros: $10
— Chips and salsa: $5
— Doing the Mexican Hat Dance naked in said novelty sombreros: hilarious
Total: $15
KICKBALL
Positioning you and your sweetie on opposing teams makes for an excellent grudge match and great make-up sex later on.
— Kickball: $5
— Big grassy field: free
— BYOB: whatever you've got at the house
— Cotton T-shirts and markers (clearly you need team jerseys): $2/each if you get at least 12
— Losers buy the pizza: makes things much more interesting
Total: around $10/person
ROMANTIC ITALIAN MEAL
While it's odd to say that dogs once epitomized romance, we loved the scene at the Italian restaurant in “Lady and the Tramp.” Skip the pricey pasta and opt for the cheaper (and cheesier!) pizza instead. Kissing isn't optional.
— 2 slices of pizza: $5
— 2 glasses of wine: $4
— Ice cream for 2: $6
Total: $15
FASHION SHOW
She loves “Project Runway” for the fashion and drama, he loves it for, well, Heidi Klum. Combine your passion for fashion and fun and then take it all off at home.
— Trying on ridiculous outfits at a vintage store: free
— Disposable camera: $6
— Incriminating pictures: priceless
Total: $6
MOVIE NIGHT
Miss the wild abandon of your college days? Have the gang over for beers and movie but save the make out session for later.
— Renting “Old School”: $5
— Inviting your friends over: free
— Going really old school and having people throw in beer money at the door: awesome
— Going streaking through the quad: optional
— Popcorn for 20: $10
Total: $15
WATCHING THE SUN SET
Like our love lives, it's easy to overlook the beautiful things that happen around us everyday. Watch the sun go down and then share a kiss under the stars.
— Blanket to sit on: $6
— Sunglasses: $2/each at your local drugstore
— Lemonade: $1/each
Total: $12
POETRY NIGHT
When it's done right, poetry can express love like no other medium. Remember Byron's “She walks in beauty like night?” Well, bad poetry can be just as evocative and downright hilarious.
— Berets: $10
— Espresso: $5
— Trying to out-do one another with cheesy, horrific poetry about your love for one another: awesome
Total: $15
PEOPLE-WATCHING, AKA ‘CREATE YOUR OWN MOVIE'
Not all dates have to be steamy! Simply spending time together is what dating is all about. Pick a beautiful day to sit on a bench in a park and marvel at the wonders and freaks! of nature.
— Bottle of wine: $8
— Plastic cups: $3
— Bench: free
— Marveling at the wonders of the public: more fun than you think
Total: $11
SILLY SEX NIGHT
We'll let the Wikipedia entry for edible underwear speak for itself on this one: “Edible underwear is a type of undergarment that is formed of an edible material which can be consumed by the partner during sexual activity. In this case, pleasure is heightened by undressing the partner with the mouth. However, this sort of underwear is often given as a gag to friends …”
— Edible panties: $6
— Kama Sutra booklet: $5
— Keeping information about the number of positions you try to yourselves: please do
Total: $11
TAKE A BATH TOGETHER
Hot tubs are overrated! There's fun to be had in your very own bathroom. Rub-a-dub-dub, keep it sexy in the tub.
— Luxurious bath soap and salts: $8
— Back-massaging Loofah: $5
— Getting clean and being dirty at the same time: sexy
Total: $13
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Hooked on 'Bachelorette'
I have to say, I'm a fan of "The Bachelorette" this season. Unlike the salaciousness of "A Shot at Love II" or the hot mess that is anything Flavor Flav is involved in, this show really seems to have the goal of a real relationship as its outcome. Well, as "real" as a relationship can be in six weeks with camera crews everywhere and 25 men competing for the attention of one woman.
What I like is the bachelorette, DeAnna Pappas, has decided she wants a husband-to-be at the end of this process, and she's let all the guys know it. The woman is 26 and she wants three kids by the time she's 30. She ain't playing around. I believe that people who want to be married and are ready to be married, will be married. Once you've decided, you try to find someone with the same life goals and you figure out if you can embrace the things you like about them and accept the things you don't. Because isn't that what marriage is all about? Love, yes, but also acceptance, understanding and compromise?
I think the most affecting episode happened this week, when DeAnna sent home Graham (pictured), the Raleigh native. Most people watching -- me included -- could sympathize with DeAnna's situation. She was attracted to Graham from the moment they met. She said he made her feel like a giddy schoolgirl. When she was with him, she couldn't keep her hands off him. She said she felt totally comfortable around him. And yet, not only did Graham have a problem with her dating other guys simultaneously (hasn't he ever seen the show?), he also didn't feel comfortable expressing his feelings. There were times it was obvious his mind was teeming with thoughts, but he wouldn't say a word. Total opposite of DeAnna. That standoffishness was probably part of his charm at first, but ultimately DeAnna got rid of him because she couldn't take the chance that he wasn't falling for her right back. (BTW, Graham has pretty much said he wasn't feelin' it, but if that's the case, speak up, dude! Just say you wanted TV exposure! She'd recover and move on!)
Yeah, DeAnna can be self-centered and irritating (alarm bells go off when she talks about the "perfect" life she could have with Jeremy ... or Jason), and yeah, the guys can come off as doofs, and yeah, situations are manufactured for TV. But it's still a fun show to watch, 'cause it's like Dating 101. You see how first impressions really can make or break you. Or if you're a nice person, but you have nothing in common with the one you're dating and there's no chemistry, it's not going anywhere ... and it really may be as simple as "she's just not that into you."
Relationship Mad Lib
Are you tired of playing soduku or Pogo's 'poppit' online? Here’s an entertaining outlet that not only could be rather humorous, but it might also enlighten your partner -- Relationship Mad Lib! As a kid, I loved filling out creative mad libs, (a word game that prompts one to list words for blanks in a story) and who says we can’t still “play” them as adults?
Here’s a mad lib – applicable to either married folks or singles. I’ll paste mine below, and I hope some of you will copy and paste your answers in the comments section. (And, yes, I came up with this on my own!)
Here goes, and oh, have some fun!
Dreaming Up The Perfect Date
If I were to go on a perfect date, I’d love to take ______ (date’s name) to ______ (city name). We would begin our evening by going to a _______ (adjective) restaurant, where we’d eat lots of ______ (food) and ______ (food). Spending the evening ______ (“ing” verb) at ______'s (date's name) ______ (body part, something similar) would definitely top off the best time together. For dessert, I want to take ______ (date’s name) to the fun ______ (place). There, we’ll jump on the large red _______ (noun) and I’ll buy him/her the ______ (adjective) present, such as a ______ (adjective) ______ (noun).
You know, it’s amazing how dating someone so ________ (adjective) and ______ (adjective) can complete me. I’ve always wanted a man/woman who had a large ______ (noun) and who wants to ______ (verb) with me. Our night would end ______ (adverb) with his/her ______ (body part) on my ______ (noun).
------
Alisha's version:
If I were to go on a perfect date, I’d love to take Richard to Miami. We would begin our evening by going to a semi-fancy restaurant, where we’d eat lots of steak and cheesecake. Spending the evening staring at Richard's smile would definitely top off the best time together. For dessert, I want to take Richard to the fun amusement park. There, we’ll jump on the large red ferris wheel and I’ll buy him/her the biggest present, such as a black gorilla.
You know, it’s amazing how dating someone so compassionate and honest can complete me. I’ve always wanted a man/woman who had a large sense of humor and who wants to laugh with me. Our night would end sweetly with his/her hands on my face.
Here’s a mad lib – applicable to either married folks or singles. I’ll paste mine below, and I hope some of you will copy and paste your answers in the comments section. (And, yes, I came up with this on my own!)
Here goes, and oh, have some fun!
Dreaming Up The Perfect Date
If I were to go on a perfect date, I’d love to take ______ (date’s name) to ______ (city name). We would begin our evening by going to a _______ (adjective) restaurant, where we’d eat lots of ______ (food) and ______ (food). Spending the evening ______ (“ing” verb) at ______'s (date's name) ______ (body part, something similar) would definitely top off the best time together. For dessert, I want to take ______ (date’s name) to the fun ______ (place). There, we’ll jump on the large red _______ (noun) and I’ll buy him/her the ______ (adjective) present, such as a ______ (adjective) ______ (noun).
You know, it’s amazing how dating someone so ________ (adjective) and ______ (adjective) can complete me. I’ve always wanted a man/woman who had a large ______ (noun) and who wants to ______ (verb) with me. Our night would end ______ (adverb) with his/her ______ (body part) on my ______ (noun).
------
Alisha's version:
If I were to go on a perfect date, I’d love to take Richard to Miami. We would begin our evening by going to a semi-fancy restaurant, where we’d eat lots of steak and cheesecake. Spending the evening staring at Richard's smile would definitely top off the best time together. For dessert, I want to take Richard to the fun amusement park. There, we’ll jump on the large red ferris wheel and I’ll buy him/her the biggest present, such as a black gorilla.
You know, it’s amazing how dating someone so compassionate and honest can complete me. I’ve always wanted a man/woman who had a large sense of humor and who wants to laugh with me. Our night would end sweetly with his/her hands on my face.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Addicted to fright
I love to be scared. Not "oh my god, you're pregnant?!" scared, but more of the on screen "don't open the closet!" scared. My girlfriend -- not so much. She left fingernail marks in my arm just from "Spider-Man 3" so I can't imagine what she'd do if I made her watch "Saw 3" with me. It's better for my health to just skip this sharing opportunity. I'll settle for watching football together.I remember watching "Friday the 13th" marathons before I could talk. Jason Voorhees became my anti-hero. I know you shouldn't cheer for the bad guy but c'mon ... he has my name, wears a hockey mask and is indestructible. That's pretty cool. Oddly enough I can't remember a single nightmare caused by a horror film. The blood and gore overload must not have done any permanent damage ... occasionally I'll hear Tubular Bells from "The Exorcist" playing in my head but I've learned to live with it.
I've grown out of my splatter film phase. I actually look for a glimmer of plot or suspense over body count nowadays. Recently viewed flicks I'd recommend:
"The Descent," "The Orphanage," "Silent Hill," "Saw 1-4"
I don't want to abandon my obsession completely but I'm not one to force people to do things. So basically, when the girlfriend's away the horror flicks will play. It works out. I still get my occasional fix and she goes on thinking "Halloween" is just a holiday.
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