Sunday, March 04, 2007

Too busy for ...

Deirdre: I've heard from a few people wondering if we're still writing this blog. At first I was like, "What? We just posted!" But then I took a look. It's been awhile, huh?
Alisha: We're still alive -- just barely. Work has been kickin' our tails. And, not sure about you, but it's also put a huge damper on the love life. I don't think there are enough hours in the week to fit in a super-busy job, extra time to sleep AND one-on-one time for a relationship.
Deirdre: I was all psyched to start going out more, but I just haven't had the energy. Also, I was thinking that we're so busy, it's a bad idea to try to start something new with a guy. I wouldn't have time for him! But you've already got a man at home. How's that going right now?
Alisha: Things are great relationship-wise. It's just you really start to wonder where the time goes when you're seeing your spouse for 30 minutes (or less) each day. I don't believe it's healthy for a married couple to spend every waking minute together (independence and separate friends are a glorious thing), but at the same time, it's difficult to get some quality time in when you're kissing each other good night and that's all you see of your spouse.
Deirdre: Have you two discussed it all? Is he upset that you're never at home?
Alisha: It's not just me who isn't at home. We're young professionals, trying to save money for the house, the kids and the white picket fence. The spark between us isn't gone - it's just that fine line of trying to balance everything .... What about you? You say you don't have energy for a man right now, but I know you would find ways to make time. If you (or we) care about someone enough, you just make the time somehow.
Deirdre: You are correct! And I have to be honest -- right now, I don't want to make the time. At first I was fussing at myself about it, but I don't want dating to become a chore. It's supposed to be fun, and if I tried to do it right now, it would be forced. Besides, I'd rather use the time I have to nurture my friendships. There are people in my life who haven't heard from me lately, and they're starting to ask for updates. So the dating will have to wait until I'm physically and emotionally open to it.
Alisha: It'll happen. Let's hope our busy schedules slow down soon -- we need more nookie!
Deirdre: Amen!

Readers, we know we aren't the only ones in this situation. What do you do to keep your relationships -- romantic or otherwise -- in good standing?


Anonymous said...

I completely agree with being to busy to even try to date. I was dating a really great guy and I discovered I just do not have the time to put in to a working relationship right now, so I had to break it off. I think dating someone should come naturally and I always had to apologize for being too busy to hang out with him. In the end, he was frustrated that I did not have time and we started to argue a lot. Hopefully, once my life calms down, I will meet a great guy and I will have more time to dedicate to making it work.

Anonymous said...

Question: Isn't "i dont' have time to have a relationship" just another way of politely saying that you're just not that into the particular guy/gal enough to go out of your busy way/schedule??? I mean, if he was incredible, woudl you have or be able to somehow find the time?

Funny, i always thought this was a line guys used on women to break things off.

Anonymous said...

No, we always say "it's not you, it's me." Of course it's me, not liking you.