Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Sex challenge is certainly that - a challenge

You gotta give churches some credit; they're coming up with innovative ideas to draw butts into the seats as well as garner some national attention.

The latest story is about a Florida church that has embraced a 30-day sex challenge.

There's not much to the story: The pastors want their marrieds in the congregation to have sex for 30 days and their singles to abstain. Here is the church's Web site.

The underlying concept has a lot of potential -- married people should re-focus on their emotional needs inside the bedroom (always a good idea) and single folks should evaluate if they're dating someone solely for sex (face it, some people would never be together if the sex wasn't so good).

My big question, and please don't laugh because it's an honest inquiry: I wonder if the church expects its married couples to have sex once every day or a total of 30 times? I mean, seriously, even if you have a plentiful sex drive, having sex once every day is a lot! Not only is that a hefty responsibility, but if you think about it, it's almost counterproductive to the ideals the concept is promoting. If you take this challenge, then you're adding another item to the daily "to-do" list and where's the spontaneity in that?

I can see it now:
Husband: "Hey honey, um, we haven't had sex today. So, it's 4 p.m., and I've got to take the kids to soccer practice and then my class is at 8 p.m. When do you think we can have sex?
Wife: "You think phone sex counts as part of the challenge? We do have unlimited minutes after 8 p.m.!"


Anonymous said...

I am married, child is out of the house and I don't do church. But I do have sex on average about 5 times a week and it's never boring. Stepping it up to 7 days a week for a month is no biggie.

We have made our lives less complicated and live in a condo so we don't spend our free time doing chores.
Let me tell you that I should have done it sooner.

Make time for love.

Anonymous said...

"If you take this challenge, then you're adding another item to the daily "to-do" list and where's the spontaneity in that?"

You are totally missing the point here.

The whole idea is to make being with your partner intimately a priority. You don't add this to the "to do" accomplish this EVERY day and if something else on the to-do list goes undone then so be it. The world will keep on spinning.

The idea is that we've cluttered our days with so much other stuff that we do not make time for our spouses. Get your priorities in order and move your spouse to the top of the list. Whatever else is on the to-do list can not be as important as the relationship with your life-long partner.

Anonymous said...

This is one of the stupidest ideas I have every heard. First all this could be so counter productive if a married couple attempt to have sex for 30 days I can guarantee at the end of 30 days the desire would be even lower. It like going to eat at your favorite resataurant for 30 days after the 30th day forget that!

What next....

Anonymous said...

Where do I sign up? I already want to do this, I just can't get my wife to go for it. We went on vaction two years ago without the kids and had sex around 15 times in five days. Unfortunately for me that only lasted while we were on vacation. I'm lucky if we have sex once a week now. She says she is not in the mood or too tired. All I need if 15 or 20 minutes when we go to bed. Why is that too much to ask for?

Anonymous said...

You're correct. There's not much to this story.

Of course, I'm sure lots of churches would be pleased with your terminology..."to draw butts into the seats."

It does, however, conjure up a vivid mental image of a bunch of preachers sitting around a conference table and one of them says, "Hey, folks...we need more butts in the pews...anybody got any ideas besides talking about Jesus, sin, eternal damnation, salvation, and eternal life after death?"

I do note, though, that the church is in Florida, so I guess the free trips to Disney World aren't generating enough attendance any longer.

Anonymous said...

To the guy who said, "All I need is 15 or 20 minutes when we go to bed..." (for sex).

That may be all you need, but what about her? Sounds as if all you're interested in is pleasing yourself. If it only takes you twenty minutes, her not being "in the mood" probably translates into boredom with your climb on/get it done/climb off/go to sleep technique. Sexual gratification and pleasure isn't a one way street, you know.

Perhaps if you weren't so intent on your own wants, your wife might be more receptive.

Anonymous said...

I am anon from 11:11 and the first 10 or 15 minutes are for her. I can be done in five or I can go for 2+ hours, that's our record for now! If she'd let me I'd spend an hour or more every time. I want very much for her to enjoy it as much or more than I do. But I can't do anything with with a NO!

Anonymous said...

Maybe the focus should not be so much about having "sex", but more on spending some private time simply communicating each day.

Anonymous said...

"Maybe the focus should not be so much about having "sex", but more on spending some private time simply communicating each day."

how about doing both: spend some private time simply communicating each day while having sex. now that's productive!