Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Online dating is a small world

An online-dating friend was checking her matches recently and did a double take when she saw one of the men. She'd been matched with a co-worker.


When she told me about it, I was immediately reminded of a chick I knew in California. I always thought of her as the "Match bunny" because she was such a prolific online dater. The bunny was mortified when eHarmony matched her with an ex-boyfriend.

"Obviously, I have to move, because I've dated every man in San Francisco!" she wailed. I pointed out that maybe there was something to that eHarmony compatibility test, since she was matched with a man she had once found relationship-worthy. She was not consoled.

The bunny illustrates a point: the online dating world, especially when you limit it to where you live, really ain't that big. Talk to friends who have similar tastes in prospective partners and if they're online dating, it's likely they've been out with some of the same people. In a small area like Charlotte, it's totally possible you'd be matched with folks you already know.

My friend -- who wound up having a laugh with her co-worker about their "match" -- asked what I thought was the right thing to do. Well, dating a co-worker is no joke. As someone who has done it, I wouldn't recommend it. Some companies have policies against it. So if you do decide to date a co-worker, I say tread lightly.

If you're not interested (or even if you are, but have decided it's not a good idea), you have an easy out: "I'm sorry, but I don't date people I work with." It's a logical and understandable response. But then I would add I'd keep an eye out for someone they might like, and ask them to do the same for me. Hey, you've already read each other's profiles! Not only are you ending things on a painless note (and you can still look each other in the eye at the office), you never know what might happen. Friends do have other friends.


Anonymous said...

I've had many similar experiences...

I was matched with my 9th grade English Teacher. (Weird!)

I was matched with a good friend from college, who I always thought was gay.

I was matched, and am currently dating, a guy who had been matched with/gone out once with one of my co-workers.

It is indeed a small world!

Anonymous said...

I once received an e-mail generated match from a large service and was staring at my ex-husband's profile. Needless to say that profile was blocked.

Anonymous said...

I, too, was matched via match.com with my ex-husband, the month our divorce was final. To add insult to injury, he was listed as an 82% match to what I was looking for. Ummmmm.... not. I quickly blocked his profile, and when my subscription expired, it was not renewed.
A happy ending to the story: I met a man on a non-dating website from another part of the country and we are very happily dating and have been for 6 months!