Friday, March 14, 2008

Sex is very unsexy to me right now

In the past five days I've:

-- Watched the Chinese movie "Lust, Caution,"which has gorgeous cinematography, fantastic acting and marvelous direction by Ang Lee (who directed "Brokeback Mountain." The man is a master of tortured love). It features a main couple who, for reasons too complex to get into here, have explicit sex in positions so convoluted, Chinese doctors warn against attempting any of them out of fear of bodily harm. I got hamstring cramps just watching.

-- Read a story about how 1 in 4 U.S. teen girls has an STD. One in four. Good lord.

-- Seen an episode of "Law & Order: SVU" that featured a 14-year-old boy who raped kids younger than him because he had seen so much sexual content on TV, he thought it was OK. I know it was fiction, but stuff like that really happens. The episode sapped all my energy. I just went to bed.

-- Been bombarded by coverage of the Spitzer debacle and watched countless interviews with ex-hookers, madams, pimps, psychologists, police, men who've cheated, and women who've been cheated on. I've had conversations about leaving, staying, trusting, lying, hating, loving, setting deal breakers and just what can you get for $4,300, anyway?

The final straw came as I was driving home last night and passed Uptown Cabaret. The parking lot of the "gentlemen's club" was overflowing. Dudes were out front selling drinks. "Ahhh, the guys in town for the ACC," I thought. But then I thought about the wives and girlfriends at home and wondered if they knew what their men were up to. And I thought about how people betray each other, and how sex is often the means they use to do so. And then I thought about ...

You can see where this is going. I drove home with dark thoughts and a bad mood.

Normally, I'm very pro-sex. Sex is great. I'm all for people enjoying the sex. Have as much sex as possible, I say. But sex isn't looking so hot right now. It's the source of a lot of drama and upheaval and hospital visits for people who don't heed the Chinese doctors' warnings.

Celibacy has its perks.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

IF CELIBACY HAS IT'S PERKS, AND SEX ISN'T SEXY TO YOU RIGHT NOW, I CAN SEE WHY. 4 OUT OF 8 OF THE BLOGS ON THIS PAGE ARE ABOUT IT. YOU JUST FEED THE MACHINE OF HYPE SPUN BY YOU MEDIA MORONS.

Anonymous said...

Deirdre you are too fine of a lady to be thinkin like that. Someday you'll find the right one, and I'm sure will make someone very happy.

Anonymous said...

1 and 4 teen girls have STD because they are not taught about sex and its implications before they have sex. We can thank our government and parents for this injustice of teaching abstinence and that sex before marriage is taboo.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you, Deirdre. Sex seems to have turned into this violent, betraying thing... no wonder it's hard to want to do it... these thoughts can creep up at the most unfortunate moments...

Anonymous said...

ANON at 2:11, why is the government at fault? It's all the parent's responsibilities to teach their children.

Anonymous said...

ahh, but the gub'mint decided that they themselves were better suited to teach sex in the public schools. that's what 3/14 2:11 is referring to.

Anonymous said...

All the "adult" pleasures in life can turn into a sad trap for people. Drinking with your friends is fun, being an alcoholic isn't. Sex is great, seeing the betrayal in the eyes of your cheated on spouse isn't. Even drugs. How many young college student thought getting high was fun and then ended up being stuck in a life they never imagined. I think the tricky part is knowing where your adult pleasure turns from fun to tragedy.

Anonymous said...

After nearly 6 years of celibacy, I've got to say it definitely has it's upside! My time is mine, my money is mine, there's no one around to complain about how clean my house is (or isn't), I eat what I like when I want (even if it's dinner @ 11:00 pm.), hang out when and with whom I want (this is key, my ex of 7 years prior to this 6-year period made me hang out with his cloying and annoying family every weekend), watch what I want on TV, have the pets I like, and so on and so forth. Having seen both sides of the coin, I wouldn't trade the 6 years of freedom I've had for anything!!! The last thing I want is some dude hanging around costing me money, forcing me to hang out with his family (my own family is between 300 and 3,000 miles away and that is plenty close enough), digging on my house, picking on my choice(s) of friends, talking about what animals are better pets, telling me to work out (I cordially hate working out), etc. Simple FREEDOM is it's own reward!

Mike said...

^^^^^^^^^^^
Keep telling yourself that.

As for this blog...someone needs to get laid!!!

Anonymous said...

Lust, Caution is only a movie. Law & Order is only a television show. Neither are real. Spitzer's life and lifestyle are so far removed from yours (and that of most people) that you may as well not be on the same planet. And as far as the guys hanging out at the bar and their spouses/girlfriends not knowing what they're up to...what exactly were they "up to"?

No one forced you to go see the film, did they? You can always change channels on the TV, can't you?

I understand you're simply commenting on how these various things affected you, but jeez, seems as if you're constantly looking for the negatives in life, rather than the positives.

Anonymous said...

I'd rather my man be in a strip club than one of the bars in downtown. He would have a much less chance of picking up a girl in a strip club than a regular "meat market" bar.

Anonymous said...

You need help. Professional help.

Anonymous said...

Sex is one of the great joys of life. But sometimes even joy has a downside, and I agree that, yes, sometimes sex can be an unsexy thing. There are just times where you don't feel sexy--after a really long day at the office, when you're fighting a cold, when you're arguing with your spouse, even after you've seen something gruesome (albeit fictional) on TV. Even the happiest of married couples go through phases where they don't engage in sex. It's not that they don't enjoy it; life just sometimes gets in the way.

Anonymous said...

From AbFab... this is sort of directed at anon@3:08PM:

Edina: And, yes, it is true I have chosen to remain celibate for the last few mon-.. years.
Bubble: Celibate? "I'm celibate?" That's what everybody says when they can't have it off, isn't it? "I'm celibate." I'm fat and ugly with no chance of a poke, more like!

I'm celibate, but it ain't by choice. I just have a hard time (ha ha) finding someone to sleep with. ;-)

Anonymous said...

To Mike: Yeah, that's just what I need. Some dude pawing me and screwing up my life. Sorry, been there, done that. It's not worth it.

Anonymous said...

To Abfab: Have you ever been to fark.com? Read a few stories on the main page. Believe me, there is no one out there who can't get "it" if they really want it!!

Stephanie said...

Off subject - I just hope that "Kristen" - the Governor's hooker - doesn't use this to launch her 'music career.' I was guilty of the curiosity of her too but I think it would be a horrible reflection on our society that being caught being a prostitute can get you good press and launch a career that normally (and should) take good hard fashioned work.

Anonymous said...

Deidre, you need to get laid

Anonymous said...

To quote Stewie from Family Guy... "She needs to get laid BIG TIME."

Anonymous said...

Somehow, I don't think sex is the answer for Deirdre. I think she just needs to feel loved and to be in love.

Anonymous said...

It is so Observer to have someone who is NOT in a relationship blogging about relationships.

Anonymous said...

I have read everyone's blog and have to say that they are all entertaining. Some are mean and totally off key. I mean you are worrying about someone that is not in a relationship, I am sorry was she born yesterday and had not experienced one.(did not see the part where she admits not every being in one??) Read the article and realize that this is just how she feels. Take in account this is her opinion, not that you are obviously not allowed yours. But some of these statements are null in void of the article itself. I enjoyed it. It is another person's perspective.
Thanks!