Think back to your school days -- maybe it was elementary school or even as late as high school -- when you spotted a gorgeous smile from across the room that made you stop dead in your tracks.You would then spend countless (underscore countless) time thinking about that crush, plotting how to accidentally run into your crush in the hallway, figuring out ways your friends could befriend your crush, feeding or perhaps devilishly denying the rampant gossip line that you do indeed have a crush and dreaming about how your life would be so much happier if your crush were on your arm.
Ahhhhh ... those were the days.
Now, as adults, I wonder if the way we approach crushes has changed? One would think maturity and experience would play into the way we handle the situation, actually asking a person out face-to-face instead of sending your best friend over to the other side of the playground to do your dirty work.
But there's a part of me that wants to say we never lose those juvenile tendencies to notify an intended love we have our eyes on them. How are the butterflies in the pit of your stomach any different at age 11 than they are at 53? Just because you're divorced, does that mean the way you approach a man at a bar is any different than when you approached the boy in the library during study hall?
When you break it down to its core, pursuing the object of our infatuation doesn't seem to discriminate toward age.
What do you think? Have you found yourself chasing crushes differently as an adult?
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9 comments:
Well, nowadays if you 'chase a crush' you might end up getting called a stalker.
I had a crush on a girl when I was in the 8th grade. It never went anywhere, but we do e-mail from time to time, just as classmates. She doesn't know about my crush, which is just as well as she's now married and lives all the way across the country. I still regret that I never managed to work up the courage to ask her out back in the 8th grade.
Grown men get different crushes everyday.....
I think as a teenager, when I had my crush I was engolfed in it. I could not even concentrate just daydreaming. Now I believe between work and other adult responsbilities we tend to only get those butterflies when our crush is in our presence, or we manage to have idol time to think about them.
I think the daydreams are different. As a kid, you can daydream of your crush telling you they like you and holding their hands. Things are probably a little more x-rated in our heads now...
Good post Alisha. And I agree with the other comments. The crushes now are not as intense as back in middle school but you definitely still get butterflies. It's unfortunate though that times have changed so much now that it's sometimes unwise to act on your crush as compared to back then. Sending over candy with a little note may have worked back in the 7th grade but now that same act could get you in trouble at the workplace. haha...
I'm 36 and I get crushes all the time, right now there is this new girl in accounting that is smoking hot.
I have to second what some other posters have mentioned here: We all still get crushes, but as adults, the experience is different than as kids because who has time to obsess over and daydream about that cutie pie when there are adult responsibilities grabbing our attention? That said, we married folk can use innocent crushes in a way we never did as kids: as mental fantasy candy to spark things up with our partner.
For single adults, sending over friends to test the water looks a little lame, especially for working professionals. With maturity hopefully comes confidence, and that is WAY sexier than acting like a 14-year-old.
At 37, I haven't had a crush in awhile, and I miss feeling that way about someone.
i have a crush on alisha...but she's taken.
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