Monday, November 03, 2008

If sex was for sale, would women buy?

The New York Times ran a provocative piece last week about the conversation France is having about female sexuality. It was sparked by the popularity of the movie "Cliente," about a hard-charging, 51-year-old divorcee who wants good sex without strings and is willing to pay good money for it.

Director and author Josiane Balasko, 58, wanted to shatter a long-held taboo in France and to send a positive message to middle-aged women who find themselves alone and wanting sexual fulfillment.

“Prostitution is the last sexual territory owned by men,” Balasko said in an interview. “Men are in control of pleasure and have the right to buy it. Women do not. A lot of my friends are alone, lonely, divorced. They can’t always reinvent themselves with another man and a new family. So I decided to show a female client of a male escort. She’s not a victim. She is a woman who is in control of her life, her feelings, her sexual pleasure.”

Although there are ads for male escorts on the Internet in France, the concept of a woman paying for sex is still a taboo. “If a woman agrees to pay a man for sex, she’s a whore,” said Pascal Bruckner, an intellectual and novelist who has written extensively about sexuality. “If a man pays a woman for sexual services in France, it’s accepted. It’s one of the strange flaws of feminism.”

Historically, the French are much less conflicted than Americans when it comes to sex, so if France is struggling with this topic, can you imagine a national conversation about sexual mores in the U.S.? We can't even talk about sex education or sexual health without people having hissy fits and trying to legislate sexual behavior.

But still ... if prostitution were legal in more states than Nevada and Rhode Island, and you didn't have to go to a brothel to get it, I bet a lot of women would pony up for a few hours of service. (Legalized prostitution has mandatory STD testing, unlike the dudes you pick up at a bar). An attractive man who will cater to your every whim sexually? Whose only goal is to satisfy you, and you don't have to go through an online dating service, or blind date or any kind of date at all -- you just get what you want and go your separate merry ways? Sounds pretty good.

There are times when women, like men, just want sex. It's a natural drive. The sooner we all accept that, the healthier our cultures -- here and France and everywhere else - will be.


Anonymous said...

It's about time we as a society accept our natural sexual instincts. Thank you for this provocative article. Legalize prostitution in NC.

Anonymous said...

You really need to get laid, Dierdre.

englishmajor said...

Your title is gramatically incorrect. It should be "If sex WERE for sale..."

Anonymous said...

Absolutely, without a single doubt.
As a very happily single, successful 50-something, it would be an expense I would gladly budget.

Anonymous said...

First off, I think prostitution should be legal in all states.

That said, I can't imagine a woman who wants to "just have sex" having trouble finding a willing partner. Men are pretty accommodating when it comes to putting out, especially after a few drinks.

On the other hand, women tend to be more cautious about who they give it up to. Especially when they want something in return. This explains why there is a higher demand for women, by men.

Now, please explain to me how you can't just have a one-night stand if you're horny? Maybe it's because you want a "handsome gigolo"? Got news for you: there are probably more worn-out, unattractive whores out there than hot women (or men). But I don't think the majority of johns sleep with hookers based on looks.

Sounds to me like your post is less about the ability for women to indulge their sex drive, and more about fulfilling a fantasy. Or hiding your shame.

Don't think you can get that handsome guy to sleep with you? Hell, just offer him money right there at the party, the bar, wherever. What's stopping you?

I swear to God, you talk big but I don't think you do jack sh**. All these months of blogging and you haven't once mentioned dating someone or having an orgasm. It's all about other people, other friends, sex toys, theories. "Life is too short for bad sex." Uh huh.

BigMikey said...

Welllll, I doubt being a Charlotte Observer blogger requires one to document or justify his or her orgasms, hookups, sexcapades or any other personal details. I'm pretty sure "a friend of mine" will suffice.

Anonymous said...

Hey bigmikey,
I don't know about you, but most bloggers I read actually relate stories about themselves. Kind of like an online journal? My point is that this blog is about relationships, but there is scant evidence that Deirdre has much experience there.

Alisha was married; Jason related interactions with his girlfriend.

I know you're in love with Miss D, but pleeze.

BigMikey said...

Your "point" would be fine on it's own. Your delivery was immature, over the top, and unnecessarily personal. " talk big but I don't think you do jack...".

Jeez, this isn't an elementary school playground.

Anonymous said...

Hi Bigmikey,
Yes you're right, this isn't an elementary school playground. I'm sorry that I let my irritation get the best of me. But like the guys in college who are ALWAYS talking big about scoring, I find all the abstract sex references irritating. To me, it's similar to "thou doth protest too much." Just my 2 cents. Guess I could've expressed it better.

barkomomma said...

Jason? Has he posted anything since that first one?

Anonymous said...

Having now read the NYT article, what I found interesting, that would be cool for deirdre to explore, is that even when gigolos are available on the Internet, women are still hesitant to pay because of how they might be perceived.

So the question isn't so general as, Would women pay? But the "why not"? (Why women WOULD pay is obvious--for satisfaction).

Also, would Deirdre pay, and why or why not? I ask because I'd support a woman's right to buy sex, but am not interested in it myself. (Kind of like supporting the right to choose, but not personally ever being comfortable with having an abortion)

Anonymous said...

Oh snap! Diva, is Jason was selling sex, I'd be first in line to buy. That boy is H-O-T HOT! I bet I could teach him a lesson or two in bed, but let me tell you honey, I bet he'd rock my world. Get on with your bad self, Jason.