I'd been at a friend's Christmas party for a couple hours when her neighbor showed up. Her single male neighbor. Her sexy single male neighbor.
I had met this guy before at another party; he was laid-back, confident and witty, in addition to being easy on the eyes. And when a small pack of us moved to a nearby bar to continue drinking and talking, I figured it was the perfect time to get to know him better.
At this point, I'd been drinking for awhile, so my reaction time was slow. I mention that because signs I normally would've noticed went right over my head. Signs like while we did talk and laugh at the party and at the bar, he didn't come over to join my conversations, but rather, I joined his. Also, he spent more time with other women at the bar than with our group. But all was made clear when, at one point, we were standing next to each other, but his attention was on a thin blonde nearby.
"So ... you like skinny white chicks?" I asked.
"Yep," he replied with a nod and a smile. A refreshingly pithy response, actually.
And ... that was that. I'm not skinny, or white. I will never be skinny, or white. I looked really good that night, and conversation flowed smoothly, but if I'm not his type, there's nothing I could do, you know?
I think a lot of women beat themselves up when something like this happens. I know I used to. You think that, because a certain man isn't attracted to you, there has to be something wrong with you. You must've said the wrong thing. Wore the wrong outfit. If only you were prettier, smarter, skinnier, taller, funnier. The truth of the matter is, it's not even about you, really. We all like what we like. Just because one particular man isn't attracted to you, that doesn't mean all men feel the same way. But I think that some women (and men, too, don't wanna leave you out) take a lack of interest personally, when they shouldn't.
So I shrugged off the sexy neighbor. There's plenty of men who do like non-skinny, non-white chicks. Of that, I'm sure.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
12 comments:
True true. What you said is obvious to most people, but it bears repeating--you have nothing to do with what attracts another person. They like who and what they like, and you won't convince them otherwise. Good for you for not letting it bother you. Even better, kudos to you for appreciating his HONESTY.
Awwww.... how does it feel to get shot down? Remember that truck driver at the paper you wrote about with whom you just "wanted to be friends" when he was clearly interested in more? Now you know how he felt. Actually, you didn't officially get shot down, because you never made a move.
Welcome to the world inhabited by many of us men. Men get castigated for constantly checking out the opposite sex, and being on the prowl. But I feel that's a natural response to the conditioning they've received - you have to go through about 9 rejections to find the 10th who might be "into you."
Just about any woman with any degree of looks can walk into a bar full of men, and be the center of attention. A man can walk into a bar full of women, and count on getting shot down or ignored several times before finding someone who deigns to talk to him. It's all a numbers game, and you just played it. Welcome to the party!
Why assume that it was that the woman was white that made him attracted to her? Maybe he liked her long hair. Maybe he liked the color of her eyes. Maybe he liked her laugh or her confidence. Why did it have to be about her race??
I agree with the poster above. Why does this have to be about race?
Child please, it's always about race. She was interested, she approached, he looked the other way at the skinny, blonde chick. That made it about race. "She a sista." She knows the deal, just keeping it real!
So we're assuming the sexy neighbor is black, then? His race isn't mentioned anywhere. What if he was white? Or Spanish? Does it still mean it's all about race?
Well, I think you're hot. So there.
True dat, it IS a color thang, girl!
Again, I think you're hot. But also, I, as well as most of my White friends, don't care that much for "skinny White chicks". Most of us have married brunettes, and we love curves on women...especially badonkadonk butts. Nothing finer than a nice little bubble butt. Skinny blondes...you can keep them.
Men aren't objects Deidre. Maybe if you treated them with respect and listened to what they said instead of thinking about how you'd like to have them mount you like a dog in heat you would get somewhere. And we wouldn't have to read about your lusting after some guy who clearly just isn't that into you.
I think everyone took this the wrong way. Sounds to me like she shrugged it off pretty well. That's just how it goes sometimes, a lot of the times actually, and I think it's a pretty nice little story about rolling with the punches.
don't be hating on the skinny white chicks.. lol, they need love too.
Post a Comment