The Chris Brown-Rihanna saga has been all over the news and blogosphere, but as the co-writer of a blog about relationships, I feel I would be remiss if I didn't say something. Not only that, but I've been thinking about their situation -- and the bigger picture it illustrates -- so much that I feel I have to say something.
Parents: Teen domestic violence is real. And if it can happen to a beautiful, seemingly perfect, got-everything-in-the-world couple like Chris Brown and Rihanna, it can happen to your child. The U.S. Department of Justice says 20 percent of all high school girls report having experienced physical or sexual abuse from a dating partner, and one in three high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship. And yet, a poll conducted by the National Teen Dating Violence Prevention Initiative shows 81 percent of parents either believe teen dating violence is not an issue or are unsure if it is an issue.
Need more proof? Just yesterday, there was an anti-domestic violence march in uptown Charlotte in honor of an 18-year-old cheerleader gunned down by her ex-boyfriend, also 18, over the weekend.
Here are some stats about teen dating violence, warning signs and a dating bill of rights.
Unfortunately, and not completely surprisingly, it looks like Chris Brown and Rihanna are back together (no matter what age, it's common for victims to return to their abusers). It could be for publicity; it could be because they're young and in love in that way that only the young can love. Either way, they're now the faces of young domestic violence. What they choose to do with this nasty side effect of their personal crisis will be interesting to see.
Posts
10 comments:
This whole situation sickens me. No one should be hit, punched, cursed at, demeaned, controlled or manipulated be it from someone they love or not.
These two are both idiots. He for striking her, she for taking him back. Next time, she will not be so lucky.
I feel no sympathy for most domestic violence victims. Not in this day and age where there are numerous resourses to help them with the problem. Especialy when I see these women who insist on dating jerks, losers, and bad boys. It also goes double when I hear of cops being attacked by the VICTIM on a domestic violence call. Even if she dumps him, which I doubt will happen, there will be women lined up around the block to be with him, just look at the women clamouring for OJ Simpsons attention. When will these women wake up and start having some self respect??
"We can relate."
To what? I don't get what the purpose of this is.
We can relate to the intimidation felt by the victims. We can relate to the helplessness of one coerced by her partner. We can relate to the terror she feels when she says that when he is angry, that she is scared. We can relate to the response of women on the elevator, in their cars, in parking lots and parks who look at us to judge if we are the one who will make them a victim, though we are intent on peace. We can relate to how this affects the relationships of all men to all women.
We can relate. Ohhhh, we can relate.
No one can understand unless they have walked in the shoe's of a victim....I am a victim of domestic violence. I am happy to say I am currently out of the unhealthy relationship, however, the process of moving forward is slow. I hope and pray that the people that surround Rihanna will encourage her to get away from Chris. I am certain that wasn't the first time he abused her. It was the first time she went to the police. Folks...it's not as cut ans dry as you make it seem. Have some empathy. You've been down before... thanks
I don't think people realize how serious this situation is. My aunt was a victim of Domestic Violence and when she finally decided to leave, her husband used her child as bait to come to the house and killed her. It is all about control for these abusers and once they lose it the situation is dangerous. Does it sicken me that she is back with him? Yes but there is so much more to the abuse than just what you see on the outside. The mental part of the abuse is just as bad if not worse. The victim often believes they deserve the abuse. The abuser beats on the self esteem of the victims, makes them feel nobody would want them. It makes me sick to my stomach that this happens everyday!
If a woman doesn't have the guts and intelligence to get out of a relationship after the first incident of domestic violence, then she has a problem with herself, in addition to a problem with her abuser.
I must agree with the previous poster--if she took him back, then she must have self-esteem issues with herself. He will do this again, and I would think he's thinking it must not have been that bad (i.e. he got away with it) if she took him back.
Not to be judgemental or anything, but this Chris character does have that punk-a** abusive look about him. Even if he nevers lays a fist on her again he will most likely be disrespectful in some way, either emotionally or verbally, or psychologically. Being a control freak is a form of emotional abuse.
I hope she comes to her senses and has good confidants/friends that will talk her into ending it completely with him.
As a former law enfocement officer, I can assure you that domestic violence situations have VERY weird dynamics. He is a powermonger...she has a need to be wanted, and so it continues. I pray she has SOMEONE that can help her see this is a no-win situation for her.
Post a Comment