Monday, March 16, 2009

Things you 'allow' in a relationship

My husband just returned from a weeklong cycling trip in Baja California -- an interesting way to celebrate his 40th year.

As I arranged my family's schedules to accommodate the trip -- a rare opportunity for him to explore a different region with a group of friends -- the reactions ranged from intrigued to "You're letting him do that?"

To which I thought, is that what it's about -- letting him take a trip?

If you know my husband, you'd know the concept of giving him orders or permission is laughable. He has admitted authority issues.

But, more than that, I'd like to hope that, petty though I can be at times, I wouldn't weigh the short-term challenges of being a single parent for seven days against the fun he might have. (Not that I won't take him up on his suggestion that I choose a destination of my own later this year ...)

And I'd like to have faith that he wouldn't do something that would leave his family in a bind. (However, it was a bit unsettling that he left for his trip to Mexico a day after the U.S. government issued a travel advisory for that country.)

Sure, I cursed him once or twice while he was away as I tried to fulfill the needs of two kids by myself. When he asked, I told him it was hard, but I didn't complain. I didn't want him to feel guilty about it.

Because, really, so what: I was without my partner for a week. My kids missed their father way more than any of us expected. I operated on very little sleep.

My husband had an experience of a lifetime -- I couldn't deny him that. Isn't that what a partnership's about?

2 comments:

Anal Slut said...
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Anonymous said...

Hope you will choose a destination for yourself, and not let that opportunity pass you by. . . Your husband maynever admit it publicly, but I'll bet he missed you and your children every bit as much as you missed him. Look forward to reading about the week he has without you - - - and how many people offer to help him out while you're away.