Friday, September 08, 2006

It's me or the TV, buddy

Ladies, it’s time to go shopping.

Is 1 p.m. on Sunday good for you? We can go to SouthPark or perhaps Concord Mills. Let’s make it an all-day affair, what do you say?

You just can’t go home. It’s lonely there. The nachos and beer will receive more attention than you will. Resist the temptation.

Why, you ask?

Sunday marks the first full day of the 2006 NFL season.

[Cue the 100-watt light bulb] Ah, now you get it! It’s all clear.

You should just tell your remote control you’ll see it again sometime midweek when Paula Deen and her boys are cooking. Kiss the kids on Sunday, and tell them the kiss came from Daddy – he’s just a little preoccupied, um, the entire day (and possibly Monday at 9 p.m.). Oh, and don’t forget to bring the credit cards for our little shopping spree, because he wouldn't notice you strutting around the 55-inch TV wearing a see-through negligee, much less the card bill.

Almost nothing preoccupies a day in a man’s life like that of pro football on Sundays.
It amazes me, and I’m a sports journalist. I can sit in front of the tube and watch six to seven hours of football, but then I need a little break. My husband? I have to check to see if he's growing moss as he sprawls unmoving on the couch.

Is it a heavy strain on our relationship? No, not really, but I can relate. It’s frustrating when I’m staring at a sink full of dirty dishes that never seem to get washed if it's the day after Saturday. Also, I never get to hold the remote.

For some relationships, one person’s addictive habit for television sports or daily Oprah-watching (men aren’t all to blame – as much as we’d like to think so) is a divisive issue that oftentimes leads to couch therapy for a lucky contestant later that night.

How do you deal with a partner who accidentally calls you Suzy (as in Kolber)? What do you say to the wife who tells you that if you love her, you’d sit and watch every episode of “Laguna Beach” with her?

You have two choices. You continuously fight back and resist your partner’s passion, hence causing constant unhappiness, or … you go shopping.

So, is Sunday at 1 p.m. good for you? I’ll buy the first caramel macchiato.


Anonymous said...

1 p.m. is good for me....I'll pay for lunch this time!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Growing up, my sister and I had to learn to love football just to spend time with out dad on Sunday. Sunday mornings, we'd put away our dolls and dresses, put on our Dallas Cowboys or Houston Oilers T-shirts and watch T.V. with Daddy! It was a true example of: "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."
Although, shopping sounds good too...