Monday, September 11, 2006

Let the past stay past

Readers, I did something I never thought I'd do.

I Googled the One Who Got Away.

Surely I'm not the only one who's done it -- Googled an old boyfriend, an ex-lover, a high school crush, just to find out where they are. What they're doing.

If they're single.

Not that we would do anything with that information, of course. Except I almost did. His address and phone number came up, and for a few long seconds, I considered calling him.

But wait. The One Who Got Away also happens to be The One I Made a Total Fool of Myself Over, in addition to being The Jerk of the Universe. Don't most of us have one of those in our past? The guy or gal who treated us so bad, yet we still hung around, thinking they'd change (they never do) or they'd realize the error of their ways (never happened) and beg our forgiveness (only in our dreams)? They had such an impact on us that every now and then we still think about them, and wonder where they are.

Well, mine popped into my head unbidden, and my fingers typed his name almost by reflex. He wasn't that hard to find; within seconds I had his address and phone number (scary, but true). I looked at the phone.

And I remembered.

I remembered that I'd had more bad times than good with him. I remembered the friendships that ended because of him. I remembered the woman I was when I was around him -- she was a woman I did not like. She was a woman I haven't been in a long time.

So I clicked off the Google screen and continued web surfing. Some people are better left in the past.


Anonymous said...

It's easier for you gals to use Google in this way, since guys' old flames have probably gotten married (but maybe divorced!) over the years, and their last name no longer works in a Google search. Still, maybe it's for the better.

Anonymous said...

I made the mistake and looked up my past. I was too busy pointing out what was wrong with my wife, instead of looking at myself and trying to fix my faults. I ran to some one in my past thinking things would be different. After the "honeymoon" was over i realized there was a reason she was in my past. I spent 6 months of my life trying to relive this fantasy with me ex, as opposed to being a grown up and dealing with my own flaws as well as my unrealistic expectaions of my wife. The time wasted on my ex, was time away from the things that are important to me (Marrigae, Family, Relationship w/ Christ)

Karma is a mutha, I ended up losing my businesss, my home, my marriage and my mind as a result. While I was reliving my youth, that allowed my wife to seek companionship from another. But God is good, and I found a relationship w/ Christ instead of trying to relive my youth through a fling with my college sweetheart. Me and my wife were able to forgive each other and we are working on communication and meeting each others needs, as opposed to looking for a fling to make us feel complete.

There is a reason why your ex is your ex. If you feel the urge to google them, try to remember why you broke up in the first place.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I totally relate to this. I just Googled some men from my past last week, just because...and I knew I had no intention of contacting them. But curiosity makes you try...after all, they'll never know. But I totally agree, the past is the past, leave it there.

Anonymous said...

How do you google your ex?

Anonymous said...

To anonymous 9/12, 4:33 pm: go to, and type the person's name in the box, preferably in quotes, like "John Smith."