The one you don't forget

Some breakups, you just never get over. No matter how bad the relationship. And maybe because the relationship was so bad.

Take my friend, Melissa. She dated this guy for close to two years. She was sure he was the man of her dreams. Little bit of a bad boy. Had traveled a bit, and he seemed to know a lot about the world and could carry on a conversation about anything. Attractive.

(She overlooked some major red flags -- still lived with his parents? -- so she caused herself some unnecessary heartache, she concedes.)

The first time he broke up with her, she was blindsided. During a date, he stopped her on a sidewalk in a busy neighborhood, suggested they sit down on a bench, and listed everything he felt the relationship was lacking: She tended toward the quiet, when he was a little more outspoken (took him a year to figure this out?); they seemed to be a different stages in their lives (a fair concern); and the sex was so-so (you only get what you're brave enough to ask for, my man). Then he let her loose. He said he was sorry. Melissa dissolved into tears, he took her home, and she tried to forget about him.

Then, about a month later, he apologized. He said he wanted her back. She agreed.

It was about three weeks of happy-happy joy-joy, Melissa once again got lost in the relationship, and she was blindsided yet again.

He broke up with her -- in a park, this time. She says she was a little less weepy that time around, a lot more angry, and a lot quicker to move on.

But she was always haunted by what she should have said, how she could have expressed her anger a little more clearly. Maybe a little more loudly.

She ran into him about a year later. He apologized again for how he had treated her. He blamed it on depression, and said he was taking medication to address it. Then he asked her back to his place. She says she smiled at the silliness of it all, but she declined.

Still, the regrets of that relationship follow her -- like those nightmares you have about missing a final exam long after you've received your diploma -- despite many years and several solid, healthy relationships under her belt.

She says she'll probably never get over those regrets. Given that she's held onto the regrets of the relationship for so long, would she ever take him back, should they again cross paths? No, she insists. She'd rather just live with the old regrets, instead of creating new ones.

But how would she react? She's says she can't know until she's in the situation. But she guesses she might have a few words of advice for him. That her tone might be a lot harsher, the volume a little louder than the last time.

Maybe she even has those words ready to go now. Don't you?

Poll: Lots of couples clash over clutter

Since I'm in a numbers mood, here's another stat: More than eight in 10 couples view unused items lying around the house as a source of tension in their relationships.

According to Kijiji.com, a free local classifieds Web site, 81% of Americans in relationships own items they’d love to throw away but can’t, because their significant others insist on keeping them. Sound familiar?

The poll says there are about 35 unused items in every household, on which each consumer has spent over $3,600. And it’s not just women hanging on to outfits they're sure will fit again one day; the poll found 31% of men are clogging the closets with old clothes.

Good luck streamlining your lives, couples. If you do get into an argument, remember there's always hot makeup sex.

You get mad. Where do you go?

Well, me and my lady had our first big fight/So I drove around 'till I saw the neon lights/Of a corner bar, it just seemed right, so I pulled up… -- "The Good Stuff" by Kenny Chesney

You can always find some life lessons buried in country music, in-between momma, trains, trucks, prisons or gettin’ drunk (thanks, David Allan Coe).

One such example is Kenny Chesney’s "The Good Stuff." The opening lyrics talk about a husband who gets into a fight with his wife for the first time. He then escapes to a bar where the bartender reminds him of all the hidden jewels a marriage provides.

Let’s face it: Even the strongest relationships endure arguments. Some are minuscule, many are pointless and a few kick off days of silence and separation.

So, how do you handle the aftermath of a big argument?

Every couple seems to confront them differently. Are you the one who spends the night on the couch? Do you follow the old adage "never go to bed angry," and you resolve all issues before falling asleep? Are you apt to write down your issues and then share them with your partner? Maybe you both drop the squabble and pick it up days later so you can discuss differences with level heads?

My husband is the type who needs to leave the room for some time to cool off and then we can continue our discussion. I’m the type who, when really frustrated, will get in the car and drive for 20 minutes with the windows down just to gather my thoughts.

No matter how you handle big fights -- because there definitely is no right or wrong answer here -- the key is to dig deep and remember all "The Good Stuff."

Warning signs a breakup is near

So you and your significant other can't stop fighting. The arguments started out over big things, issues that any couple should discuss, but now your fights focus on where you're going to dinner and why you didn't call when you got home two hours later than expected.

They all seem to be silly, petty arguments that make you wonder if your partner is trying to tell you something.

According to an article published Thursday on yahoo.com, author Elina Furman gives her top five signs you're about to get dumped. I think she hit the nail on the head with the "forgetting to call" sign.

What would be your top five signs?