Tuesday, November 06, 2007

It's OK to feel lonely

Lonely, definition by Merriam-Webster
1 a: being without company : lone b: cut off from others : solitary
2: not frequented by human beings : desolate
3: sad from being alone : lonesome
4: producing a feeling of bleakness or desolation

“One” by Harry Nilsson
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one
It's the loneliest number since the number one

"No one would choose a friendless existence on condition of having all the other things in the world." – Aristotle

Loneliness is a feeling we’ve all encountered, and if you haven’t, well, you’re just plain lying to others and most importantly, yourself.

There’s a misconception that only single people can be lonely. You don’t have a date this Friday, you don’t have someone to call when you’ve had a bad day, you’re without a partner to throw the football to in the backyard, you go alone to the emergency room at 3 a.m. and you curl up in bed at night next to your dog.

But just because you have a significant other in your life who will do all of the aforementioned things, does not mean you cannot feel alone at times. You’re human. Admitting you’re lonely does not mean you’ve got problems in your marriage or that divorce is imminent. And it can be a fleeting experience or one that you carry for many years.

Obviously, there are varying levels. It’s hard to compare the feeling of being at home for the night while your spouse is out of town to the feeling one might get when your spouse believes you should handle the daughter’s punishment differently.

It all comes down to communicating to your spouse your feelings and then how you proceed to handle the issue together as well as inwardly.

Bottom line: It’s natural to feel lonely every now and then, no matter if you’re single or married.


Anonymous said...

So what's wrong with curling up in bed at night with your dog? That doesn't necessarily mean you're lonely, now does it? It's great in the winter time, cause he sure is warm at night. And hey...it beats hell out of some of the women I've slept with. At least he's not constantly asking me what I'm thinking about. And it probably beats hell out of some men some women have slept with, too.

Anonymous said...

Being lonely all the time isn't any fun. But there are times when it is good to be by yourself.

Anonymous said...

The song, "One," was by Three Dog Night.

Anonymous said...

alisha - sounds like you need to get you some strange

Anonymous said...

I think a lot of the time people confuse being alone with being lonely. These are not the same. All human behavior can be described as points on a continuum, some people can't stand to be alone, others get real edgy if they have to be with others (or live with others) all the time. I had lunch several months ago with 3 co-workers that illustrated this well. Two people were married w/kids and basically lived with their parents until college, lived with roommates in college, and got married shortly thereafter; they couldn't imagine living by themselves. Me and the other person have lived by ourselves for more than a decade and we had a hard time with the idea of living with other people at this point. Everyone is different.

Anonymous said...

Echoing comment #1 - So what's wrong with curling up in bed at night with two cats? They're very warm indeed. Just watch your feet carefully (they are attack targets).

Professor said...

Umm, number three, there are songwriters...Harry Nillson wrote the song, Three Dog Night performed it. Geez.

Anonymous said...

Real loneliness is losing your spouse of 46 years!!!!

Anonymous said...

Getting divorced but have been lonely for over 15 yrs even though not alone. Wrote a song about it. one lady I know made me play it 4 times for her. It was just the truth. If you are lonely and care about your partner let them know everyday. My ex always used the expressions....later and tomorrow. Just a comment on a great post.