Thursday, November 01, 2007

She says I'm 'sweet' -- now what?

Here's a dilemma, from a male reader, that has got to rear its ugly head with almost every single guy out there:

If a woman I'm interested in is telling me I'm "sweet" and considers me an "absolute sweetheart" when we talk, does that mean ...

a) Thanks for being nice but I'm destined to be just a friend
b) She is giving me a "green light" to ask her out
c) Get lost, loser

This is a tough one for me to answer because I think guys who are really sweet are total keepers, but I do know women who will turn down a guy in just this manner, "He's so sweet, but he is such a slob and we'd never work out."

Your thoughts?


Anonymous said...

DOOM! I've never seen a woman pick a "sweet" guy, accept in the movies, they always go for the guy who make them say, "wow, he makes my knees go weak."
If the man is looking for a friend, stick around, if he's looking for sexual relationship, he might as well be honest and move on.

Anonymous said...

Being called "sweet" is basically being told that she thinks of you like a brother. (And not in the Angelina Jolie sort of way.) She'll talk to you, she'll hang out with you... but you can forget dating and you can certainly forget having any sort of romantic relationship. It's happened to me a number of times.

The irony is that us "sweet" guys are who women say they want, yet they persist in going out with the Outlaw Biker Dude and then crying on OUR shoulders when the OBD lets them down by cheating on them, abusing them, etc. It's enough to make me want to give up even trying to date anymore... I'm getting too old for that sort of nonsense.

Anonymous said...

Quit paying any attention to her.

Anonymous said...

Quit paying any attention to her.

Been there, done that. Girl calls me "sweet"; I stop paying attention to her; and then when we run into each other, she asks why I've been ignoring her. I used to make excuses, but now I just tell 'em straight up: I'm tired of chasing women who've basically told me I have no chance with them. They may enjoy being chased, but I will only do it for so long before I start expending my energy (and time, and money) elsewhere.

Anonymous said...

depends on how she says it, really. if you're interested, maybe you should just ask her straight up what it means. at least you're being honest, and hopefully she'll be straightforward in return. that way there will be no mystery, and at least you'll know if she's not interested.

Anonymous said...

It's really simple. Women don't want what they have or what they can have. They want what they can't have or don't have. This is true whether you are talking about clothes or shoes or houses or men. They are totally focused not on what they have, but on what everyone else has that they don't....especially other women.

Is it a sexist thing to say? Maybe

Is it true? Definitely.

Saying "men like football" is sexist too....but true none the less.

Being "sweet" means she knows she COULD date you but you're not a challenge, so she does not want you.

Ignore her and see if she misses the attention. If so and she asks why you have not been around or calling just tell her how you've been dating other women and watch how FAST she changes her tune.

Because now she can't have you and more than anything else women want what another woman already has.

Anonymous said...

Pierce something, or get a tattoo, and then get into an argument with her. Tell her she's full of it. Then, don't talk to her for a week or so, don't answer messages, etc.

Then, go out and buy a Harley. Or a guitar. If she doesn't suddenly have the urge to get closer to you, then guess what, that's what you had all along, nothing. But maybe, just maybe, she'll respect you as someone she knows she can talk to, but she'll know you're not a pushover.

It sucks, I know.

Try setting the bar really low next time. (Thumbs up!)

Anonymous said...

just keep waiting for the grown up chics who have been through enough losers to realize that they are LUCKier than they could ever imagine to have the "sweet guy." Leave the silly girls for the silly boys.

Anonymous said...

what women say they want and what the actually want are NEVER the same thing.

Anonymous said...

news flash, just because a guy is sweet doesn't mean we women have to go out w/him.There are so many other factors that come into play. It doesn't mean we want a "bad boy", we just may not be attracted to him. My advice is to ask her straight out-hopefully the guy will get a straight answer and can go from there. News flash #2, guys are just as guilty-is the average guy going to pick a sweet girl who looks like ugly betty or a drama queen of a b@#$ch who looks like Jessica Alba? Let's just be real...

Anonymous said...

Don't ask the girl straight out if she likes you or not, she will never give you a proper straight answer. Women for you.

My personal opinion is that if a girl says you are sexy she is inviting you to take her out and fuck her that night. So she is a slut.

If she says your sweet you could be in for a chance. The girls not a slut and isn't inviting you between her thighs straight away. But she's giving you a chance to take her out and show how sweet you can be.

So read her body language. When you meet her is she dolled up? Smell nice? Does she smile and hang off your every word? You can tell if she likes you. And you can tell if she might want to kiss you.

Mix said...

If your man is pushing you away and acting distant

Or if the guy you’re after isn’t giving you the time of day...

Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.

Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing you can say to a standoffish guy that will grab him by the heartstrings-

And get his blood pumping at just the thought of you.

Insert subject line here and link it to: Your ex won’t be able to resist?

Once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...

It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you-

And even begging to be with you.

Here’s what I’m talking about:

Insert subject line here and link it to: Is your man hiding something? He may need your help?

Thanks again.